Safer Place
by RedAugust102
Summary: "As we rise, hand in hand, I realize that if we had both chosen differently, we might have ended up doing the same thing, in a safer place, wearing grey clothes instead of black ones." Beatrice and Tobias made a different choice. They must grow together in another world, where rules are lies and safety is but an illusion.
1. A Choice to Determine the Future

A/N an idea came to me and I had to let it out. Yes, I do know that I am writing about 8 fanfics at once. But I had to get this out! This story is based on that quote: "As we rise, hand in hand, I realize that if we had both chosen differently, we might have ended up doing the same thing, in a safer place, wearing grey clothes instead of black ones."

Please review. I need to know what you think!

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I stand immobile in a mass of tense people, just as scared and nervous as I. My heart is pounding through my chest. My breaths are short and rapid.

Today is the day. The day that all other days build up to or occur in the aftermath of, impacted by its vast fallout. The day that will shed a different light on the past, whip away the present and transform the future.

Choosing day.

You know that the world you live in is an unstable one when you have to choose just one of your best qualities to be able to live as a better person.

Abnegation. Dauntless. Erudite. Amity. Candor.

Selflessness. Bravery. Intelligence. Peace. Truth.

Stones. Coals. Water. Earth. Glass.

Choosing day has begun.

I don't pay attention to the names that are called. I don't see the blood sizzle on the coals, splash on the glass, cloud the water, dissolve in the earth or slip down the stones. Not until Caleb is called.

He stumbles over to the bowls, slowly. Steady as he goes, the knife is brought up to his hand and dragged across his wrist. He doesn't even wince.

Of course. Caleb's blood will spill on to the stones, mingling with the blood of others, and he will become Abnegation.

Of course. Caleb, always so selfless without needing to try. Born for this faction. He fits so perfectly.

I, on the other hand, never could. And never will. I feel it in my soul, I can't live in Abnegation. But can I live anywhere else either?

I am Divergent, as Tori told me. Maybe I don't belong anywhere?

Caleb hesitates in front of the row of bowls, looking for a moment at the simple grey stones, wet with blood. But then my heart stops cold. Caleb moves with a decisive sweep to spill his blood into the repulsive scarlet water, almost completely blood itself.

I gasp but am not heard over the jeers of the Erudite and the mutterings of the Abnegation. I spot my parents in the crowd, my father glares at Caleb with a cold passion, an expression that shocks me almost as much as Caleb's decision. My mother simply stares at my brother as he joins his new faction.

I cry out inwardly. What will I do now? How could Caleb do this? Transferring to Erudite of all factions. He has abandoned his family, his life.

As I think, I realize that I shouldn't be so shocked. Caleb has been dropping hints for a long time, I have just been too blind to see them. I remember his room, his bed, sheets thrown open, a pile of books on the pillow. And what he said before, about thinking of ourselves. He was trying to convince himself the his decision was the right one. Not just me.

All too soon, my name echoes through the room.

"Beatrice Prior."

I barely conceal a tremble as I move up to the front. I don't know what to do now. I don't know what to choose. I am not fit for a single faction, I am Divergent.

Erudite, one of the factions I have aptitude for, is ruled out. No question. As much as my brother may want to be in that lying, power-hungry faction, I harbour no such secret desire.

I could transfer to Dauntless, that ruthless group of free-spirits. I seriously contemplate spilling my blood onto the coal as I press the knife into my hand, but I would still be leaving my family. To be free, lonely and in the unknown, or to be trapped, loved and at home? It is hardly a fair question.

The problem is, I am certainly not selfless. That was Caleb. Not me. But how can I leave my family behind?

I step forward, blood pooling in my palm. What should I do? What can I do?

I hold my arm out between the searing coals and simple stones. And I decide. My elbows turns mechanically and my blood drips onto the plain grey rocks.

I am selfless.

I am Abnegation.

We all file obediently up the stairs, our steps in perfect, monotonic unison. We wear simple grey clothes, baggy to the point if ridiculous and buttoned up to the throat.

I chose this, I tell myself. I chose Abnegation. But another part of me despairs. I am still locked in that cage my faction built for me. I am not free, and now I never will be.

Suddenly, yells echo up the staircase and I am pushed aside by a sprinting Dauntless boy. The Abnegation are swept to the side, unnoticed, uncared for. We don't matter.

I sigh and continue once the Dauntless have passed. I could have been there. I could have been Dauntless.

I could have been free.

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A/N there it is. Virtual muffins for all reviewers!


	2. The New and Puzzling

A/N hello! Next chapter is early cos I got more reviews than expected. Thank you! Sorry this chapter isn't particularly exciting- but it gets better. Trust me.

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We reach the initiation compound, a slate-grey block identical to the ones beside it. A man stands at the door, a boy, really. He holds himself tall and proud, a stance not fitting with Abnegation. As we pass, we bow our heads to him, and he returns the favour. I cannot help but spare him a glance. He is only one or two years older than us, with brown-black hair that is a little longer than Abnegation standard. But what strikes my heart the most are his eyes- deep blue and swimming with feeling, feeling of what, though, I cannot tell.

His eyes slide to mine. I quickly whip my head down and file into the building. We enter a room filled with chairs, facing a central stage. We take our seats as Marcus Eaton ascends the steps up to the stage. The boy stands by the door, with a curious expression on his face. It is mostly blank, but it seems that he is struggling to hold back a glare, he is looking at Marcus.

Then I realize, I know who this boy is. The prominent cheekbones, brown hair, curved up nose. This boy is Tobias Eaton. Marcus' son. I remember seeing him briefly as a child, but not since.

On the stage, Marcus launches into a speech about the benefits, burdens and responsibilities of our new faction. I tune most of it out.

Tobias is acting very curiously. He looks at the floor every time his father's eyes come to rest on him, but stares daggers at him all other times.

At Marcus' final words, Tobias signals for us to follow him out of the hall.

"Follow me. I'll give you a tour of the place you will be living for the next four weeks." His voice echoes through the corridors eerily.

We follow him as loyally as sheep into a long hall filled with a single table, which is lined with hard oak benches.

"This is the dining hall. You will eat together for three meals a day, and will cook for each other."

He then takes us to a smaller room, furnished with the same benches. He points to a door on the opposite wall.

"That is the simulation room. There, we will test your selfless ability using simulation serums. This is a new addition to initiation, and we hope you will all cooperate with the testing."

Mutters shiver through the room.

"Quiet down. You will find out more about the simulations later."

We quieten obediently and march out of the room. Tobias holds his head high above us, though his eyes wander he takes us to a long room furnished with cots and chests of drawers.

"This is the dormitory. The bathroom is through the door in the corner."

I notice that while there are about thirty beds, only a third of that number will be occupied.

Tobias seems to realize this too, as he adds, "Over the past, our numbers of initiates have dropped considerable. Not many transfer to Abnegation anymore, but abnegation-born occasionally move to other factions. This is a statistic we must change, we must let everyone realize the great peace and sense of equality that we experience in Abnegation.

The others begin murmuring again so Tobias dismisses us with a wave of his hand.

"Prepare your new living quarters and meet me in the dining hall in ten minutes." He announces.

We all disperse to find our own bed. I choose the one at the end of the hall, away from all the others. I sit on the neat covers alone until I see a familiar face.

"Beatrice!" It is Susan. I stand and we bow our heads before greeting each other. Although she has always wanted to stay in Abnegation, Susan still carries an air of longing and sadness.

"At least we're together." she sighs, avoiding touching the subject of Caleb but sill conveying it in her words. She and Caleb have always had something going on, I am sure that she will miss him just as much as I will.

I smile reassuringly at her. "We can still visit."

"I guess so." She murmurs, then looks at her shoes. She sits beside me on the bed, sharing each other's company to soothe our worries.

"Dinner!" Comes a voice from the door, echoing through the almost empty hall. "Us Initiate leaders have prepared a special mean for you as it is your first day."

We file through the halls to the dining room, and seat ourselves at the table where a magnificent feast is laid out. Or at least, as magnificent as it gets in Abnegation.

Roast chicken, boiled potatoes, pumpkin, an assortment of vegetables and rush gravy greets our rumbling stomachs. As I slide into the bench, I look to the head of the table. A woman stands there, smiling, and we all automatically quieten. She begins to speak.

"Abnegation is a place for peace, equality and selflessness. In losing oneself, one becomes unreliable on others and gives all they can to their community and their world. This is what makes our faction so great, for we truly live in harmony with each other. And today we welcome a new group of initiates to join us on this noble path." she raises her glass at us. "May they bring Abnegation pride and honor or values and morals, to work towards a better future for our world and for others."

Everyone claps politely, and the woman sits Dow. I automatically take the plate in front of me and begin serving the person on my right, Susan. A boy on my other side hands me a plate of food. Once served, we are still for grace, led by the woman at the head of the table. Then, we eat.

No one talks, none of us have eaten dinner away from home before. Usually, the parents talk to each other at dinner, and the children speak only when spoken to. But there are no parents here.

Eventually, one of the leaders motions for us to talk among ourselves, and the haze of silenced is pierced. I make small talk with Susan, and the boy on my left- whose name is Paul. But my mind is not on the conversation, or the food.

I stare at the blue eyed boy at the other end of the table, who is silent and unblinking for the entire meal.

When we are sent to bed that night, I cannot help wondering about my present, my future and what I could have been, had I not made the choice I did. All through the night, the face of the blue eyes not pierced my dreams, leaving me wondering about his strange actions and who he really is.

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A/N there y'all are. Next chapter coming up. Reviews greatly appreciated!


	3. Not the Only One

A/N alrighty! I just love this idea so much that the words were just pouring out of me! Thank you for the reviews guys!

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The morning comes in stages of nightmares, dreams and waking. When I stay consistently corporeal for a while, a leader whose name I do not know enters the room and asks us to ready ourselves for breakfast.

After cooking and eating tasteless porridge, we gather in a featureless room where Tobias addresses us.

"Over the next week, you will be performing community service around the city. You will choose a specific place to continue working for the second week. In week three, we will begin administering the simulation serums. They will send you to everyday simulations, and how you react to these will be monitored. In the fourth week, the simulations we give you will be different. They will trigger your own fears, and use your own brain to construct simulations. You will face your most dreaded fears."

Everyone stiffens and begins murmuring to each other. I see Susan cast me a nervous glance.

"Don't worry. It's just a simulation," Tobias continues. "You can't get physically hurt."

The tension lessens a little, but I can't help thinking that by emphasizing the 'physically', he meant that we could be emotionally scarred.

Tobias continues talking about the community service for a few minutes, then we all lope out the door and follow Tobias outside.

"Today we will head to the retirement home, and look after the people there." He sets off down the footpath and we follow, me feeling ever so much like a loyal puppy.

I spend hours at the home, washing, preparing meals for, and entertaining the old folk. I can't help but feel trapped. I am not cut out for this life. I can't put myself out for others like Caleb did, as naturally as breathing. I, on the other hand, constantly forget to reassure the patients, and am lost in my own world instead of concentrating on others.

Dusk sees me exhausted, depressed, and trapped as a rat in a cage. After dinner, Tobias promises us another day of community service. Tomorrow the leaders will be monitoring us to see which of us deserve higher positions in our new society.

My hopes are not high.

•••

I wake to silence, and blackness. Another nightmare has jolted me from sleep in a cold sweat. In it, I was lying on a simple table, in a simple room. Around me, every single person I have ever loved, or even just liked, was gathered. One at a time, they approached with a gleaming knife and slashed my stomach. All the while, they were ridiculing me, accusing me of being a traitorous Divergent scum, deserving if the death they were giving to me.

I slide out of bed, deciding to talk a walk to rid my mind of the dream. The deserted corridors, painted in a dull light grey, feel even more unwelcoming when shadowed by the cold moon. I tiptoe over the tiles, the chill penetrating to my bones. The window at the end of the hall has been pushed open, allowing access a small fire escape. I slip through the small gap an emerge into the night. It is colder here, but somehow more welcoming, kinder to my eyes and my soul.

I think that I sit there for hours, watching the full moon track across the sky, bats flicker through the air, and feeling the air buzzing with that nightly energy only felt after midnight. Waiting for nothing.

As the edge of the sky begins to lighten, I turn to go back through the window, only to freeze solid as another face gazes at me through the glass. It smiles.

"Thought I might find you out here, Beatrice. And what might you be doing up at this time of the morning?"

He thought he might find me here? Why would he think that? Was he looking for me? I steel myself and reply, "That depends on what you're doing."

He raises an eyebrow. "Same as you, I think. Reflecting on past choices. Maybe even regretting them.

I stiffen. How can he know that?

"I can tell you feel trapped here. What can weigh you down more than the live of everyone else?" Tobias says.

Okay. That is weird. How can he know? And does that mean that he feels that way too?

I narrow my eyes at him. "Do you really think that you are talking about me?"

His eyes widen. "Observant. Well, I'll see you round, Beatrice." He nods at me and walks away.

I let out a breath I didn't know I had been holding. Tobias has more secrets than I would have thought. I just wonder if he has the same one that I do.

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A/N Ta da! Chapter three is here! Please review! Like I said before, you get virtual muffins! And they're CHOCOLATE!

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	4. A Dance With Death

A/N HeLlO! Next installment is here! This chapter is a LOT more exciting than the other chapters. Seriously, I almost died when I was writing it. I was trying to relate to the main character.

And with that cliff-hanging note, here is chapter four! Enjoy, my lovely reviewers!

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A sigh shudders through my bones and makes my skin tremble. I raise my stick for the gazillionth time and skewer a moulds apple core which I deposit in a plastic bag.

Picking up rubbish along the train tracks. How exciting!

I sigh again, and glance around. Tobias is helping us clean the tracks, and has assured is that there are no more trains for at least half an hour, fortunately.

A couple of other leaders stand to the side, taking careful note of our attitude.

I cast a disdainful glance at the rubbish bag tied to my wrist. So we don't lose it, they say. To me, it feels more like a chain, grounding me to Abnegation and the serving of others forever.

One of the leaders catches my eye and frowns. I simply stare, and he shakes his head disgustedly. Another sigh, and I continue my draining work. At least this is the last day of community service. What a long week it has been, next week we can choose where to work. At least I won't have to sponge down old folk for another day.

I have barely survived through the week, feeling forever tied down and restrained from truly living. None of the others seen to feel this way, yet carry out their work as if it weren't work, they take joy in community service and helping others, as I try so hard to do. No one else feels trapped. At least, I think so.

Tobias continues to be a mystery, casting me knowing looks every so often. I find myself dwelling our short conversation, maybe he feels trapped, too? Maybe he is divergent, too?

His relationship with Marcus is also a puzzle, he appears to truly hate his father, who shows complete indifference to his son.

I focus again on the rubbish. It becomes a kind of rhythm, so it seems as if I am not controlling my body, and my mind is free to fly high above the clouds, where my spirit longs to be.

Spear, tissue, bag.

Spear, banana skin, bag.

Spear, paper, bag.

Thumping.

Spear, bread, bag.

Ringing.

Spear, wrapper, bag.

Screaming.

Wait, screaming? I snap out of my reverie. A rhythmic clatter fills the air, and I look around hurriedly.

There, a black shape, coming closer. I am just to the side of the track, still not safe. The other initiates sprint away screaming. But not all of them.

Susan stands, jerking and yelling, just a few feet away from me. And the train is just fifty metres away.

"Susan! Get off the tracks! Go! Now!" I shout, frantic.

She shouts a look that chills me, her eyes wide, mouth open, the embodiment of fear. I am beside her in seconds, pulling her off the tracks. She yelps in pain, her foot and baggy grey trousers are caught under the rail. That's what happens when the railway line isn't maintained for ten years.

I look up, the train is progressing steadily closer, just forty metres away. I bend down and seize Susan's ankle, yanking it in spite of her yells of pain.

"Get away, Tris! It's nearly here! Go!"

Without looking up, I say angrily, "Not without you! I can't let you die!"

My words send the reality of the situation to Susan, she realizes how the train could certainly crash into her body, slice it through on the rails, and she would just die, blood running over the tracks. She falls dead silent.

Thirty metres.

The clatter vibrates through my bones. Susan's foot moved half an inch, splattered with blood.

Twenty metres.

My blood shivers. My heart speeds up to provide a baseline to the constant yells and thumps. Another few centimetres. More blood slips through my fingers.

Ten metres.

My skin tingles and my stomach drops to my toes. Too close.

Susan's foot is almost out, crimson liquid painting the tracks in red.

Five metres.

I know. I know it. It is happening. The death of Beatrice Prior.

I pull with all my strength. Push Susan out of the way. She is off the tracks. Safe. Safe. And yet I stand here, covered in blood, staring blankly at Death, gazing vaguely into his menacing pinprick eyes.

Death. Here to claim me. But I cannot let him.

It is here. The universe slows to a crawl. Even though I don't look up, I know that the train is upon me. I don't waste my final seconds with silly, meaningless regrets, apologies or wishes. Farewells to the world that don't have answers.

I simply will myself to carry on, and leap with my remaining strength away from the blackness, away from the clatter, the screams, the blood, the pounding, the crowd, everything.

Into nothing.

Nothing.

Nothing.

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A/N

OH MY GOD.

See, what did I tell you?

Love some reviews, they make my day all the more happy! And what is the price of happiness, you ask? Why, VIRTUAL COOKIES OF COURSE!

( : : ) ( : : ) ( : : ) ( : : )

LOVE YA!


	5. To Live or Die

thank you everyone for the reviews! Love ya! enjoy the chapter!

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Light. Dark.

Voices. Silence.

Waking. Sleep.

Everything. Nothing.

This is life. This is death.

Trapped in the ether.

Life. Death.

Choose.

•••

When I wake, I don't hear the pleads of a loved one, or the condescending drawls of a doctor.

I don't feel the cool hand of mother on my forehead, or the strong grip of my father on my hand.

I hear only the faint ticking of the clock, in time with my steady heartbeats.

I feel only smooth bedsheets, slippery against my skin.

I smell only that distinctly 'sick' odor of antiseptic, cleaning fluid, and flowers.

I revel in this simple peace for only a few moments. Then my head explodes with pain, throbbing and dizzying my senses. I groan and try to sit up, anything to stop this agony.

I open my eyes for the first time, and see a blue of white and grey. I hear a scuffle of whispers, and footsteps. A wet cloth is placed on my forehead, soothing but not stopping the pain. I bring my hand up to my head. It is covered with bandages.

A blurry figure beside my bed presses a cool glass into my fingers, and a tablet. I down them in one gulp, eager to seek refuge from the pain. The throbbing lessens almost immediately, though a remnant of it remains and I am still dizzy.

The face above me comes into focus, and I am more than shocked to see Tobias's blue eyes gaze down at me. I scramble back into the pillows and he chuckles.

"It's okay. Relax. You have quite a bad knock on the head."

I frown, but manage to croak, "What...happened?"

Tobias's eyes shift. "You jumped. Hit a rock. It was pretty bad."

I knit my brow, confused. Where did I jump? Where was I? Where am I now? Why am I here? Why am I not at home, in my own bed, with my own family?

But the. The painkiller clears my mind a little more, and I remember.

The ceremony. Abnegation. Initiation. Community service. Picking up rubbish by the tracks. The train. Susan. Pulling. Blood. Pushing. Susan. Roaring. A jump. Darkness.

I release a breath.

"...Susan?"

Tobias studies me for a moment, his expression crinkling to look slightly curious.

"Fine. Her foot has healed, and she has a few bruises. But nothing compared to you."

Relief floods my lungs like a breath of fresh air. Tobias continues.

"The train wasn't supposed to come for at least a half hour. Apparently the Erudite needed an urgent delivery of supplies," he releases a puff of anger. "We've had to keep you in the compound. Outsiders aren't permitted in here." He answers my unspoken question.

I clear my burning throat, "How long..."

"Three days. You were in a coma. Though you should be able to join the other initiates on Thursday. You cracked your skull, but those Erudite medicines are miracle workers."

Another bout of dizziness makes to world spin and I close my eyes.

Tobias is silent for a minute, then speaks tentatively, "That was really brave, you know. Going in front of that train. Risking your life for Susan. You out her life before yours.

I stay silent, not knowing what to say. It wasn't bravery. I was just trying to save my friend.

"The other initiate leaders and I have decided to give you extra credit. It was a great act of selflessness, one they want to reward."

Silence again.

I feel a slight pressure on my forehead, fingertips flutter against my temple, then lift.

I peek my eye open to a sliver. Tobias is looking down at me with a strange expression on his face something like confusion, and wonder, but also tenderness.

My fingers twitch, and I make a decision. Brave, or selfless?

My hand snakes out from under the covers. My fingers brush Tobias's palm, and he wraps his hand around mine. I look up into his strange blue eyes, at the emotion there.

When my eyelids droop, I drop my hand from his. I pretend to be asleep, but am still aware of Tobias's presence beside me.

Watching.


	6. A New Sun

A/N New chapter! YAY! I'm excited! This is another exciting chapter. Thank you for all your reviews people! Enjoy!

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Sun streams through the window, shining in the bedcovers.

A new sun.

A new day.

My head feels only slightly dizzy now, and only when I move. I pull myself out of bed, determined to carry on with the day and get over the train incident. After dressing and washing, I feel ready for the day, and exit the infirmary for the first time in five days, feeling refreshed.

I hear familiar voices, and enter a room where Tobias is talking about the options for community service to the other initiates; we can return to one of the places we worked during the week or find someplace new.

Susan's face brightens when I enter, she stands lopsided, with a bandaged foot. I position myself next to her. She smiles at me, a beam of thanks and a question. I nod back to her.

"Alright. The locations for each community service are on the noticeboard outside the door. Be back at five."

The initiates crowd around the noticeboard, disperse, and disappear out the door. I stand awkwardly in front of the board, scanning the list. None of them look particularly appealing. I enjoy the ones involving interaction with other people less, so I decide to choose window cleaning. Monotonous and allowing me room to think. Good enough.

I set off out the door. I have to go to the Erudite compound. After a short walk, I arrive to see an Abnegation holding a clipboard, I go up to her and tell her my name.

"Prior? Initiate, right? Take a bucket and sponge, go anywhere. Just be careful on the ladders."

I grab some supplies and take in the massive glass building that is the Erudite headquarters. A few other Abnegation are cleaning the windows, but they are full members. I head towards a ladder, I will have privacy to my thoughts up there.

After settling the bucket into the crook of my arm and ascending the ladder, I find the most soiled spot on the roof and start scrubbing. The work reminds me of picking up rubbish by the tracks, I repeat the same action again and again.

Dunk, rub, rinse, swipe, dunk.

After a few minute of this, a head peaks on the edge of the building. The boy I met first at dinner, Paul, smiles up at me.

"Thought I might join you. Is that alright?"

I don't really won't him to join me. I feel like being alone, alone to my thoughts. But I am supposed to be Abnegation.

"Of course not." I reply politely. He settles himself a few metres away from me, and starts scrubbing a dirty patch.

"So, are you alright? Is your head okay?"

"Yes, thanks." Ah, the deeply interesting joys of Abnegation small talk.

"That was so brave of you. I can't believe you went in front of the train to save her like that. I could never have, never mind being from Dauntless."

I pause. "You were from Dauntless?"

"Yeah. I didn't like it very much. I couldn't fight, and I'm not brave at all. I definitely wouldn't have passed initiation."

"What do you mean, passed?"

"Not all of the initiates become full members. They are all ranked. I would have been knocked out first thing, I think. That's why I came here."

I think about this. I might not have gotten into Dauntless anyway. But that doesn't make me feel any better that I chose Abnegation over them.

We clean the glass for a few more hours, talking a little about Dauntless and Abnegation. I find myself liking Paul, he shows more depth than the Abnegation born and I find I can relate to him. When the sun is threatening to sink beneath the jagged row of buildings, glaring off the glass, we clear up and descend the ladder. I, for one, am sick to death of cleaning widows by now.

We check our names off with the clipboard lady and start back towards the compound. Erudite mill around the paths, mostly the older teenagers. A few dauntless are mixed in among them. Some of them unsettle me, they look like gangs.

A few of them throw insults at us as we go along, something that I have learnt to ignore but Paul looks uncomfortable with. They never go much further than that.

Beside me, Paul stumbles and sprawls onto the pavement. A tall Dauntless stands next to him, jeering with his friends, who are mostly Erudite.

"Hey." I say, before I can hold it in.

They all look towards me, surprised. The leader recovers quickly and smiles, leering at me. "Why don't you run along, little girl. We're just gonna take care of your friend here. He needs to pay the price for betraying his faction to a bunch of lying Stiffs." He kicks Paul where he is on the ground, trying to stand up. Paul falls back to the ground, holding his side.

"How about I show how to be truly Dauntless, eh? He needs a good pounding to drum that information into him."

They all laugh and jeer, and the leader draws back a foot to slam it in into Paul's rib cage.

"Stop." I am surprisingly calm when I say this.

The leader looks over at me. "And how are you going to stop us?"

I step forward. "Don't hurt him. Let him go."

"Well, then. Can we have you instead? Even better than a faction traitor- a Stiff herself, born and bred!"

"Leave him alone." I repeat.

"Alright. Fine." He struts forward. "Maybe I'd rather beat up a Stiff."

The other Dauntless and a few Erudite circle around me, now I can't run. I flick my eyes around to each boy in turn, they are all at least five years older than me, and twice as big.

I raise my fisted hands, determined. I won't go down without trying. They laugh anyway.

"Think you could stand a chance against us? A skinny little girl like you?"

I grit my teeth. "Get on with it."

"Fine then. I'll just..." He pauses, then jumps forward and grabs my arm, twisting it painfully. I pull with all my strength, but his grip is strong. He whispers in my ear. "You'll learn not to stand up to us." He yanks my shoulder and pushes me to the ground. I scramble to get up, but as I do another Dauntless kicks me in the back. The leader kicks my legs out from under me, and I fall again.

His movement was overshot, and he stumbles a little. I see a chance, and stick my leg out to trip him. He falls, but before I can get up an Erudite has me in a headlock. His tight arms constrict my breathing. I can't move.

The leader stands up, and glares at me with fiery eyes. "You'll pay for that, Stiff."

He launches a punch into my stomach, knocking all the breath out of me. I curl up in the Erudite's hold, so he has less of a target. He kicks my unprotected head, and pain explodes through my being. I vaguely feel the movement of being dropped to the floor as the world swims before me. My already tender head burns with agony, I feel hot blood streaming down my forehead.

Another sharp pain in my side clears my head just a little. I cover my head with my arms, so he kicks my stomach, again and again, and, oh, I can't breathe. I can't think. I can't. I can't.

A familiar voice shouts at the edge of my consciousness. It is angry. Very angry. Quick, heavy footsteps track away from me. They are running. Two very different voices yell and grunt, I hear thumps and whimpers. Another set of footsteps moves away, slow and loping.

I open my eyes. The world is tinged in red. I see a face, blurry. A pair of hands lifts me, my head spins again. I close my eyes and bury my head into the soft thing that is carrying me.

Soon, I am laid down on a springy bed, all cool and crisp. I open my eyes. A face swims into focus, a pair of eyes. Deep blue eyes. They crinkle into a frown.

"Are you alright?"

I mange to nod, the pain in my head is lessening and my other aches are just that now, nothing more.

"I'm going to patch up your head, alright? The nurse is off duty and I think it will be fine if we just put a bandage on it. Head injuries always bleed more than others."

He disappears. I squirm up into the pillows to watch him go. I don't feel dizzy anymore, and I don't feel sleepy so I don't think I have a concussion again. Thank God.

Tobias returns with a handful of bandages, and, after dabbing my wound with some antiseptic, wraps my head in the cloth. His long fingers make quick work, and as he does it I look up at his face. He has a black eye, a bruise spreading to his cheek. He fought them. He fought them for me.

After he has finished I slip off the bed.

"I feel tons better now. Thanks." I say awkwardly.

He nods. "Keep away from them okay? I know why you fought them. Paul ran back to the compound to get me." His eyes soften. "Just... Be careful. I don't want you... I don't want you to get in trouble. Be safe."

It is my turn to nod. I turn to go to the dining hall for dinner, and as I walk away I hear him mutter, "So selfless. So brave."

•••

I lie in the lumpy grey bed, aching all over. The wall above is ripples with paint bubbles, which I have been counting for the past half hour. The other initiates breath in a slow symphony of sleep around me, but I can't seem to close my eyes. I replay the events of the day in mg mind, and this time I notice something my battered mind didn't see before.

Tobias. He fought those boys. Those huge, muscular, Dauntless boys. Who were at least three years older than him. How? He obviously beat them badly, and came out of it with just a single black eye. How? How could he fight so well?

Not a very Abnegation act, if you ask me.

* * *

A/N oooooh. What's happening there, I wonder? Anyway, love your reviews so please keep on being AWESOME!


	7. What Happened to Freedom?

A/N chapter two has arrived! Woo! Thanks for the reviews people! I love you all! Constructive criticism welcome!

Enjoy :)

* * *

A breeze flutters over me from an open window. A light forces its way through my eyelids. I hear the distinct rustling as the others ready themselves for the day. Morning. Another morning. Another day. Another unerring day of cleaning windows, swipe swipe swipe. Ugh.

I savour the remnants of sleep for a moment longer, then rouse myself. I go through my morning routine slowly and languidly before heading to the dining hall. I lope into the kitchen to find the other initiates already cooking up vats of porridge. I join them reluctantly, stirring a huge pot of the goop.

When the porridge is just almost done, I spot something glinting on a shelf. A jar. A jar of golden liquid. Honey.

My eyes widen. I have never had honey before, and I doubt anyone else here has, either. What is it doing here? Maybe they use it when outsiders come to the compound?

My gaze lingers on the jar for a little longer than necessary. Should I? Am I reckless? Am I that tired of my new life and regretful of my choice?

I don't need to ask myself. I look around to see if anyone is glancing my way, but they are all intent on their own vats, or squeezing out orange juice. My had snakes up and snatches the jar from its place. I hide it from view as I unscrew the lid. Then I hold it over the pot, tipping it slowly as the viscous golden liquid drips into the porridge. Yum. I put in about half the jar, then quickly replace the cap and put it back where it belongs. And in that simple act of defiance, I know. I don't belong here. Maybe I don't belong in any of the factions, but I certainly don't belong here.

I finish up the porridge and start pouring it into the bowls. Once finished, we take all the bowls and glasses and take them out into the hall. I make sure to put all of my bowls where the initiates always sit.

When people start filing in, we take our seats. After a short grace from one of the Abnegation leaders, I dip my spoon into the porridge eagerly. I cannot wait to taste this. I don't think I've ever eaten something as exotic as this. And this is just honey and porridge, pitiful compared to the meals had in other factions.

I lift the spoon up and take a deep whiff. A distinct sugary scent overlays the gluggy porridge smell. I take a bite. The taste explodes in my mouth, all sweet and heavy and so, so delicious.

The initiates around me are looking confusedly at their porridge, but those frowns soon morph into grins. They laugh and chatter and enjoy themselves, and I see something in them that is always in me. The leaders frown at us, but we don't care. We just tasted honey, the most delicious, sweetest thing in the world. And we have never tastes anything that comes even close to the flavour. It is amazing to say the least. We Abnegation aren't always Stiffs at heart.

I see Tobias further down the table, holding back a smile just barely. He must have got one of the honeyed porridges too. I catch his eye and grin softly. A light dances in his eyes, interrupting the deep blue-black.

Whatever is inside me, it is inside Tobias too.

•••

After another draining day of window cleaning, Paul and I walk through the crumbling streets to the compound. We are definitely friends now, which was easy to do because he has not yet changed into the shallow, boring robots that the other initiates have.

We can talk about the important things, and we often wonder if our choice was the right one. Paul is so much better at being selfless than I am, but he still feels out of place. As I do.

It is so hard to just talk to the other initiates, with the exception of Susan, they won't talk about anything real. Anything that matters. They are even more Stiff than the full members, trying so hard to prove themselves worthy. But Paul and I, we don't need to prove anything. Because sometimes we wonder if the factionless sometimes choose to become so.

It is the last day of community service, tomorrow we have Visiting day, and then we start the simulations. They are supposed to replicate everyday situations, but are in simulation form because they can make it feel more real and don't have to manipulate people.

I am hoping that it will be more interesting than the last few days have been.

We reach the compound and enter through the wide doors, always thrown open to welcome anyone who wishes to go in. Tobias stands just inside the door with a clipboard, and he checks off our names.

"Dinner's in ten," he says stiffly.

He fixes me with a strange look, unblinking. His eyes shift to Paul, lingering on the space between us. I see something battle behind his eyes, and finally he looks sharply away and marches down the hallway. I try to decipher that look, that puzzling look, but cannot. It seemed almost tender, and then tinged with pain. Or anger. Or maybe even jealousy. I don't know.

We set off down the corridor and into the dormitory, where the rest of the initiates are rearranging their things or talking quietly. I find Susan folding up her socks, and say hello.

"Oh, hi Beatrice. Hello Paul," she greets us. Paul nods back.

"How was the hospital?" I ask, Susan volunteered to be a nurse's assistant there.

Susan's expression brightens, something rarely seen in Abnegation, and she replies, smiling, "It was wonderful! I helped set up all the beds and the food, and one of the nurse's taught me how to bandage a limb!"

I smile. At least Susan has a place here. "That's good. Do you think you might get a job there, later?"

"I hope so. The nurse's thought I ha good potential." She beams. And Susan very rarely beams.

Paul coughs. "Um, I think it's dinner time now."

Susan packs away her socks and we head to the dining hall.

"So what have you been doing this week, Paul?" Susan asks.

"Well, I've been cleaning windows. With Beatrice."

"At the Erudite compound? Wow. You two must be fit for Dauntless to be able to stay up there all day!"

It is a lighthearted comment, that shouldn't mean anything in passing. But to me, it means a lot more. Maybe I really am for for Dauntless? But I can't be, can I? I'm divergent. Or something. But what does that mean?

I hear a cough behind me and move out of the doorway. We start preparing the night's meal- plain chicken breast with rice and green beans.

After an hour of stringing beans and boiling rice, resulting in a nasty blister on my finger, we sit down to eat. I serve Paul, Susan serves me. Grace is said. We eat in relative silence. We clear the table. We clean the dishes. We clean the cutlery. We wipe down the table.

Typical boring Abnegation routine. I used to enjoy the safety of it. But now I feel trapped. An eagle in a cage. And right now, the bars are made of the strongest steel. There is no door.

•••

I am wandering the corridors again, in the heavy cold night. It is this time when I feel the most free, alone and unrestricted except for the lock on the front door.

I reach my old spot, the fire escape, and climb into the small space. This time, I feel braver and dangle my legs out through the bars, I watch then swing above the cracked pavement, four storeys below.

The air hangs weighting around me, just another thing tying me down. A watch a large owl swoop through the buildings, hooting and scanning the ground for mice. It spots one scuttle out from beneath a dumpster, and shots down, quicker than the mouse can realise, to catch it in its beak. The owl flies up into the clouds and disappears. The owl is free. Even the mouse was free. At least, freer than I am.

The moon is reduced to a waning sliver, and the street lamps are all smashed, but I don't think they would be alight anyway. It is so dark. It is so free. If I can't see my bonds, I can pretend they aren't even there.

A low sigh, just beside my ear, makes me jolt. I spin around and come face to face with a pair of blue eyes, shining in the dark.

"Sorry," he mutters. "Didn't mean to frighten you."

"You didn't frighten me," I feel the need to say this. "But for all I know, you could have been some kind of murdering stalker."

He notes my change into the present tense with a shift of the eyes. My statement hides a question, and he knows it.

"I must assure you, I am not an axe murderer. I'm just someone who made the wrong choice."

I take a sharp breath. I didn't really expect him to answer. "That makes two of us."

We are silent for a while. There seem to be a lot of silences between us.

"Why?" I ask, after a while. Just that one word.

His brow crinkles, and he stares up at the moon. It takes a while for him to answer.

"I had a fear that I needed to overcome. So I stayed. But I haven't found the courage I need in this place."

I consider his words for a moment. They ring true, and he says the words slowly and very carefully, like he is picking his away across a cracked pavement. I don't think this is one thing he has shared with many people.

He looks down at me, a question in his eyes this time. I take a deep breath.

"I'm trapped," I mutter. My hands clench the iron bars of the balcony so tightly the edges bite into my palms. "I'm trapped in here."

He studies my face with a mournful expression. "Freedom has a price."

"I am willing to pay," I reply. Because I am. I am.

"When you chose Abnegation, you chose safety and family over freedom. Safety is the illusion we have here. But it is just that. An illusion."

He looks at me strangely, with a kind of confused, knowing look. He knows. He can tell. He knows I am Divergent.

I flick my eyes back to the sky, my heart picking up the pace. He can't know, can he? How could he? Unless he is Divergent himself?

I stand up quickly. I need to get out of here before he suspects anything else. Tori didn't tell me much about Divergence, but I believe her strong words about keeping it a secret. I have to stand by them.

"Good night," I mutter as I squeeze back through the window. He doesn't answer. I hurry back down the hallway, but before I turn into the room I can't help but glance back.

Tobias is just a silhouette now, against the pale, thin light of the waning moon. He is gazing out into the world, watching.

He knows.

But I think I know too.

I think Tobias is Divergent.

* * *

A/N dun dun duuuun! *home alone face* Tobias is Divergent! Yes, we all knew that already, but woo, now Tris does! Next chapter is the start of the simulations. Exciting! :)


	8. Visiting Day

A/N sozza guys. I know I told you that this chapter would be the simulations, but I forgot about visiting day. O.O

Enjoy anyway! Thank you kindly for the reviews!

* * *

I force down the remains of my cold porridge, which today is more like gruel. My spirits are somewhat less grim than the meal. No more community service. Today is visiting day.

Paul frowns at his grey sludge, shoulders slumped. I guess his parents aren't coming to visit him today. Considering the reaction of the Dauntless gang to Paul's transfer, I don't really expect much from his family.

Susan, on my other side, looks considerably more happy. She barely looks at her breakfast before gulping it down. That's Susan. Grateful for everything.

Down the table, I see Tobias, on the last seat of the Abnegation leaders, but on the edge of us transfers. I get the feeling that he is not very highly valued in Abnegation society. That e doesn't really fit in.

All the little bits of information are gathering- Tobias could definitely be Divergent. Like me.

•••

We gather in a large hall, furnished with small chairs and tables. The clocks ticks its way to eleven o'clock, the time our families will be allowed to enter and see us for the first time in two weeks. I miss them. I miss them more than I thought I would. I guess they were the reason I stayed, the reason I chose Abnegation. Of course I miss them. But I miss Caleb too.

Paul sits in a chair by the wall, looking small and forlorn. I am about to head over to him when the minute hand clicks over and the families begin to file in. There are not many.

There are eleven initiates, seven of them Abnegation born, including Susan and me. I don't remember the names of the others.

I have only attempted friendliness with the transfers, of which there are only three. Paul, two sisters from Amity named Lucy and Diane, and a Candor named Rachel. None of their families are here. As expected.

So, seven families are in the room. Seven families for eleven initiates.

I spot my mother at the back, head down, next to my father. I rush over to them, and my mother puts her arms out for me. I sink into her hug, neither of us caring about the public display of affection. My father smiles down at me.

"Hello, Beatrice."

"Morning, Father."

He looks genuinely happy to see me, but his eyes flash with some hidden resentment, not for me but for something he is thinking of.

"How is initiation going, Beatrice?" My mother asks softly.

"Good." I deadpan. Lucky my parents aren't Candor.

"Have you made any friends?"

I nod uncertainly and gesture vaguely in Paul's direction. "Yeah."

"But he's all alone."

I hesitate before replying, "He's from Dauntless."

I see my father's eyes harden as my mother starts towards Paul.

"Hello." she says to him.

He sweeps his head up, his look hopeful. But it soon sinks back down to stare at the floor. "Hello."

My mother sticks her hand out. "Nice to meet you. I'm Natalie."

Paul stares at her hand in surprise, but takes it in a solid handshake. My mother, giving someone a handshake?

"Paul."

"Are you enjoying Abnegation?"

"Yeah. Better than Dauntless." He says this in a deep growl, quite unlike his usual voice. It is obvious that he doesn't really want to talk.

"Ah. Well. Nice meeting you, Paul."

"You too."

My mother walks back to me, but I am looking elsewhere. Tobias stands idly by the door, eyes flicking around at all the faces. Alone. Strange, usually the Abnegation use this day to catch up with their own families. Shouldn't he be with Marcus?

My mother follows my line of sight and takes a sharp breath. "Who's he?" She asks, though it is obvious that she knows who he is.

"He's my instructor. Tobias."

My father speaks up. "He's Marcus' son."

"Yes." I don't know what else to say.

"Best stay away from him, I think. His mother died when he was little, never been the same since. He had a bit of a falling out with Marcus. Not the best Abnegation to be training initiates, I'd say. Bad influence. Be careful of him."

Another piece of the puzzle falls together. Tobias's mother died. I remember now. I remember her funeral. And a glimpse, just a glimpse, of Tobias himself. Standing by a window, holding back a curtain. Young, just a little boy. Face blank as fresh paper.

And I realize something else. My father told me to stay away from Tobias. But I don't really care.

A pressing thought swims to the too of my mind.

"Don't you have to go see Caleb?"

My question receives two very different reactions. My mother's face softens and she casts me a sad smile. My father's face hardens and he glares at nothing.

"The Erudite have forbidden Abnegation from entering their compound now. We aren't allowed to see him." My mothers says softly. My fathers grunts.

"Oh. So I can't see him either."

"I'm afraid not." My father snaps. "Now, Natalie, I have to get back to work. We must leave."

My mother nods sadly and gives me a last hug. "Goodbye Beatrice. We'll see you after initiation."

I nod and smile as they leave. My fathers steps briskly out the door without so much as a glance back.

•••

Another day, another night, another moon. Or not, since the space where the moon should be is melting into the black sky.

I gaze up at the blank space, just like the space inside me. The one where my true self should be. But it is melting, melting into the endless Abnegation grey. I am being forced to conform to a society that I don't fit into. And I can't conform. I won't.

For the first time, I consider something that would have been unthinkable just a few weeks ago.

The Factionless.

They are free.

Freer than any of us. They have no boundaries, no rules to govern the way they think or restrictions on their personality.

I wonder what it would be like to be one of them.

My feet hang above the pavement, swinging in the slight wind. I feel a presence beside, soft breaths an a heartbeat. Tobias has been crouching there beside me for many minutes now, neither of us saying anything to the other. But the silence is full, full of our own thoughts and worries and wonderings.

At some point, at some minute in those silent hours, we end up siting closer.

At some point, our hands knead together and his long fingers make my palm tingle.

At some point, I lean into him, and we stare together into the night.

The cold, still, silent, free night.

* * *

A/N

:D

...

Not much to say.

:D

Thank you for the reviews you are about to post! I love u all!


	9. A Revelation

A/N NEW CHAPTER! WOO! *cue trumpet fanfare*

Sorry this is pretty late for my usual updating timetable. Please note that I don't have specified update-days, and I am so sorry this took so long!

And, guys, ready yourselves, this is amazing. I got EIGHT REVIEWS! EIGHT! WOOOO! I LOVE YOU ALL!

BTW this chapter introduces some ideas not really explored in the book. In Insurgent, when the visited the factionless and they were all happy and smiley and had tons of food blah blah blah, I didn't really believe. I mean, aren't they like homeless people in our society? The Abnegation can't provide supplies for ALL the factionless. It just didn't seem believable. So, I'm showing a different side of the factionless. The darker side. Be prepared! This chapter is kinda sad. :(

But still, enjoy!

* * *

The simulations," Tobias announces, "Are simply a more efficient way of designing situations in which to test your levels of selflessness. There is only so much we can learn from community service, and your future places in or society will be based on your initiation results. We want them to be as accurate as possible."

We sit on the benches outside the simulation room, and everyone of us can't help but be nervous.

"The simulations will be administered by a serum, which will be injected into your arm. It may take a few seconds for the serum to take effect, then it will transport you to a scene. The situations will be simple this week, mostly normal, everyday happenings."

Tobias stands up. "I will call you in one at a time. First, Lee."

An Abnegation boy I knew in school stands up, knees shaking, and shuffles into the the door Tobias holds open for him. We all stare blankly at his erratic progress, but Tobias's eyes harden, as if in contempt.

The door closes with a soft click. And fear begins to build in my chest. What if he can find out that I am Divergent? Because I can manipulate the simulations? Can I hide it? What will he do if he finds out?

Before I know it, Lee is stumbling out the door, the tracks of old tears on his cheeks. I feel the tension in the room intensify.

"Beatrice."

I jolt in my seat. No. Not me. He'll know. He'll find out. Unless he is who I think, unless he...

"Beatrice." He repeats.

I stand up quickly and walk to the door, heading automatically for the familiar chair in the middle. The mirrors on the walls reflect my uncertain expression time and time again.

The door clicks shut.

"Sit down."

I comply. He takes a swab from a table and motions for me to roll back my sleeves. The swab makes my shoulder go numb, so I don't even feel the injection.

"Alright. It should take just a few seconds to take effect. Just remember that I'll be watching the simulation remotely."

I nod, and the world begins to blur. Before I know it, the chair has been swept out from under me.

I am crouching on my hands and knees, on a familiar cracked side walk. Tall grey buildings tower around me, centering on the scene.

People weave and march along the road, not paying the slightest bit of attention to me. Their eyes are set on their destination, like machines, with no room for free thought in their minds.

But there is another shape on the pavement, just there, through the hundreds of legs.

A small boy, about six, is crouching on the ground a few metres in front of me, head down. His bones protude from his skin, his skin is pale and sweaty. He is wearing threadbare clothes, mismatched and much too big. He must be factionless.

The boy grasps the pant leg of a passing Candor.

"Please," he gasps. "Food. Please."

The Candor man kicks his trapped foot viciously, striking the boy in the ribs. He cries out and falls down, gasping.

The boy's prone form shudders and he emits a soft cry.

I lift myself up and glance around. The crowd are casting disgusted glances at the little boy, or are just outright ignoring him. I even see a young Dauntless grind his foot into the boy's hand, muttering, "Factionless scum."

Of course. Most people despise the factionless, they are exiled from our society, with no place. They are at the bottom of the food chain, only able to get food and supplies from the Abnegation, or even pick pocketing. Why would anyone bother to aid a poor, sick factionless boy?

The boy shudders again and claws at the pavement.

I am crouching beside him before I even feel my legs move. I put a hesitant hand on his shoulder and he grasps my hand, squeezing it tight.

"It's okay. Don't worry. It's alright. I'm here."

The boy stares up at me, eyes wide and shining with tears. His cheeks are sunken, the skin pale as a ghost except for the dark spots around his eyes. His other hand clutches his chest which is rising and falling at a rapid rate. I lift his shirt gingerly and gasp.

The boy's ribs are showing easily through pale skin, and one in particular is crooked and bent, pointing inward to his lungs.

The boy's breathing quickens, and he is clawing at my hand, crying and gurgling. He can't breathe properly. The rib must have pierced a lung.

I gather the boy up in my arms slowly, I need to get him to a hospital. Quickly.

I push through the crowd, but don recognize my location. I have never seen this part of the city before.

"Excuse me." I tap the shoulder of a passing Erudite woman. She walks by without a glance. I try the same on an Amity man, but he can't seem to hear me, or just doesn't care.

I pick a random street and sprint down it, hoping to find a familiar area. I ran as fast as my body will allow, feeling my heartbeats quicken along with the rapid breaths of the little boy. I yell loudly at everyone I pass, trying to get their attention. They don't even turn their heads.

Frantic now, I run down an alley, looking for something, anything. Anything at all.

The alley is a dead end.

I stop and look down at the child in my arms. His eyes are rolled back in his head, and his chest is shuddering irregularly. I check his pulse. It is fast, too fast. The boy tries to focus and croaks out, "Stop. Please."

I look around helplessly. I won't find the hospital. I know this in my heart. This is how the simulation is supposed to go.

I set the boy on the ground carefully and kneel beside him. He grabs for my hand and squeezes it tight.

"It's okay. It's alright. Okay? It's gonna be alright." I whisper. The not doesn't respond and I can't help but think that I am only reassuring myself, and with no effect.

He stares into my eyes, his big brown ones glassy and afraid. His breaths become even faster, quickening with his heartbeat.

"No." I know, now. I know what is happening. It was inevitable, all along. I knew. It would have to end like this. One of the greatest tests of selflessness. To watch a stranger die.

The boy's breathing shudders to a stop and his pulse dies down. His eyelids droop and he is frozen, caught in a final moment, as if paused in his life.

"No!" I can't let this happen. Even in a simulation. I just can't find it in myself. I spread my palm on the boy's chest and compress, trying the technique that I have only seen as an onlooker. Thirty compressions, i remember. But I can't remember the other stages of the process, something about breathing air into his lungs. I don't want to try unless I make his breathing worse. I keep on compressing, again and again, until my arms burn with fire. Finally, I stop.

I stop.

And the boy lies there, unmoving. He could be sleeping. He could be a malnourished, dirty, sick, Factionless boy just taking a nap in an alleyway. But he isn't.

He is dead.

And suddenly I fell a surge of anger. This is our society. My society. A society where those who do not totally fit are cast out and left to live alone. A society full of outcasts who do not get enough food, or clean water, or health treatment, or shelter. A society where a little boy can die on the streets, lungs punctured by a kick from a disgusted Candor.

This society. My society.

And this boy isn't the only one. In this city, there must be thousands of Factionless. More have died. More are dying.

And then a door in my mind opens, one that was once firmly locked.

Either I can force this society to change, or I don't want to be a part of it.

* * *

A/N alrighty. There it is. Hope you liked it. I know it was kinda heavy and sad, but next chapter will be more fluffy. Don't you worry!

To Awesomesawse- is it How I Met Your Mother? Lol idk.

Reviews are the high point of my day, remember. ;)

Til next time... :)


	10. Fight by Night

A/N

WOOOOOO! HAPPINESS! NEW CHAPTER!

...

yay!

Anyways thanks for all your brilliant reviews! I'm glad you all liked my twist on the original book. I hope you all like this one. I had fun writing it. Tobias has some great lines :).

Enjoy!

* * *

That night, my mind is raging in a tempest as I stare at the still moon. The night is perfectly quiet, the air itself seems to be caught in place. No lone flies buzz around my ears, no owl flitter from rooftop to rooftop. So still. So silent.

Unlike me. I can't help but dissect every moment of my life so far, searching for something, anything, to redeem my society. I never though the worst of my home before. I never really saw the bad things of this city. But they are there. And now I see them.

I remember the time, years and years ago, when a starving factionless woman snuck into one of the food storage sheds. I saw her do it, on my way home from school. She came out with only a few loaves of bread, not even enough to feed her for a week. And she was skinnier than anyone I ever saw. But as she was scurrying through the rows of supply sheds, a Dauntless soldier slid from around the corner. She ran. The soldier ran. And so did I.

But my pounding footsteps could not hide the cold, taunting laughter. Or the unmistakable bang of a gunshot.

I think I must been to young then to think much of it. But now, now I know. And it isn't just the factionless. It is the Abnegation, preyed on by Erudite and even some Dauntless. And it is also me. The Divergent. Whatever that really is.

"You need to control yourself."

The soft voice snaps me to attention, and I see Tobias crouching beside me. He turns his head to stare into my eyes.

"You know that you're Divergent, don't you?"

I nod slowly and scramble back. He knows now. He knows. He could have told them.

"You manipulated the simulation. Only Divergent can do that. That's how I know. And don't worry. I didn't tell them. And I deleted the tape of the simulation. They don't know. Yet."

I relax a bit but am still wary. Part of me sees his words as truth.

"So be careful. Control it. I can't protect you all the time."

"So teach me." I don't know how these words enter my brain. But they feel right.

He frowns, brow crinkling. "What makes you think I can teach you?"

I reply, my voice stronger. "Because you are Divergent, too."

His eyes widen, then soften. "I guess it takes one to know one. I'll teach you. I'll teach you to defend yourself against them if they try to kill you."

"Kill me? They wouldn't go that far, would they?"

"After what you saw today, is there really anything they wouldn't do?"

It's true. If they really hate the Divergent, they will do anything to be rid of us. I nod. "Teach me, then."

He stands up. "Tomorrow. About an hour after curfew. Meet me here." He squeezes back through the window and I follow.

We stand in the hallway, moonlight shining on our faces. I stare into his deep blue eyes, and he stares into mine. His hand running down my chin takes my by surprise, and I jolt back. He looks away quickly.

"I'll see you at breakfast." He marches back down the corridor, leaving me standing in a square of moonlight, staring at his shadow, melding with the darkness.

•••

I tiptoe through the quiet corridors, keeping an eye out for a familiar shadow.

Today's simulation was simple, meaningless; helping an old lady across the street. No epiphanies, no questioning of society. Nice, really. Even though it took me a while to realize what I was supposed to do. Just my Divergent side resurfacing.

I reach the window, where a bank of clouds muffle the thin light of the moon. I lean against the sill, staring up into the stars.

"Beatrice."

I jolt and spin around. Tobias has stepped out from the shadows.

"Um...hi."

He nods. "Come with me." He opens the window wider and slips out onto the balcony. I follow, puzzled. We can't go anywhere from here. The gate to the fire escape stairs is always locked, strangely. I wonder what would happen if there was a fire.

Tobias tests his foot on the iron barrier, then lifts himself up to crouch on the railing, swaying precariously.

"What are you doing?!"

Tobias looks back at me. "We... are leaving."

"Leaving? Where?"

"You sure ask a lot of questions. I can't very well teach you hand to hand combat in the initiation compound, can I?"

"Well, how did you learn?"

Tobias hesitates and stares at the ground. I see his muscles clench, and his breathing is quick. I blink, and a rush of air flicks my fringe into my eyes. He is gone.

I look down at the pavement, holding my breath. Tobias is standing amiably down below.

"Come on. Just get on the outside of the building, climb down the railing, and jump from the last balcony. It's only two storeys."

I take a deep breath. I need to do this. I swing my leg over the rail, clinging tightly to the wrought iron bars. I lid myself over and hang on the edge for a second before finding my footing. It takes me a lot longer than it does Tobias, but soon I am down on the pavement beside him.

He nods, as if I passed a test. "Come."

I follow him through the dark alleys, bats twittering above our heads, thin moonlight casting deep shadows. We reach a door, just like any other. I wonder how Tobias remembered which one it was.

Tobias pulls a small key out of his pocket and unlocks the door. He pushes it open to reveal a hallway, leading to a set of stairs. It is a house.

"Glad to be back here. I hate staying at the initiation compound." He starts up the stairs, with me following, and opens a lone door at the top. A fresh wind takes me by surprise, we are on top of the building.

"No one ever looks up." Tobias observes. "It's the perfect place."

And it is. All the other buildings are the exact same height, all with limited windows which are all curtained in Abnegation fashion. And no one ever looks up.

"All right. We'll start with the stance."

I am shaken out of my reverie. "Um, okay."

"You know, if someone finds out who you are and tries to kill you, you're going to have to concentrate."

I glare at him. "What do I have to do?"

"Stand like I am, feet wide apart, angled like this so you have a good centre of balance. Knees slightly bent. Arms up, around your chest. No, too high. And your foot has to be there."

I adjust my stance to his liking an he nods.

"Right. Now the most important aspect of your stance is simply feeling balanced. Imagine that your feet are stuck to the ground, but you can still move freely when you lift them. The most important thing for is to not fall down, or you can be kicked in the head or stomach and won't have any chance of getting back up. Well, not with your size." He doesn't sound condescending with this comment, just as if he is stating facts.

Tobias clears his throat. "Picture a cord running from the small of your back to the ground. That is your centre of balance. Don't over stretch, or you'll fall. Always come back to this stance after striking out or you will also fall."

Tobias is talking in his simple monotone again, the voice that he uses for lecture to the initiates.

"Now. We'll start with a simple right handed punch. It may not be much use to you, because of your small figure. Even so, it is best to cover all bases."

He continues to show me a right and left handed punch, roundhouse kick, and backwards kick. I copy his movements easily, but find it hard to put any force behind my strikes.

"You see, you'd do better with using your knees and elbows. Watch me." Tobias drags over a tall bag of rice and demonstrates some techniques more suited for me. I find it much easier to carry out these hits.

"Okay. Enough of that. Now you can try it on me."

I raise my eyebrows. "On you?"

"Your attackers aren't going to be big bags of rice, are they?" He says snappily.

I glare at him. Why is he sometimes so hostile and cagey, but then sometimes heartfelt?

I take my fighting stance and ready myself. I first go for a simple pinch to the lower ribs, and he dodges easily. I spin around an try again, again he leaps away. A roundhouse kick, he whirls around, grabs my foot and yanks it, so I spill onto the concrete floor. I am never going to win this fight. But maybe I can at least get a hit in. He is mostly defensive, and maybe I can use this predictability to my advantage.

I aim another punch. He dodges. Another. Dodge again. I aim yet another right handed punch at his side, and anticipate his dodge to the left. I shift my weight and leap with him, bringing my knee up and jabbing him in the stomach.

And then I barely dodge Tobias' punch, trip over his outstretched leg, and am forced to the ground by a hard punch to my back.

I get up slowly, rubbing my back. Tobias nods at me. "Clever, that. You read the patterns, worked out my strategies. Of course, you need to work on your balance and be aware of your opponents strength."

I guess that as good as a compliment gets from Tobias.

"I'll see you tomorrow night, too. There's work ahead if you want to e able to defend yourself." Tobias goes back into the house and down the stairs. He locks the front door and I follow him out into the night.

Back at the compound, we climb back up to the balcony. I can't help but notice Tobias' rapid breathing while ascending the railing.

"You never answered my question." I say softly when we are safely back in the compound.

Tobias brow crinkles, but I know he knows what I'm talking about.

"How did you learn to fight? Why?" I repeat.

Tobias stares out the window for a few moments, then looks back at me.

"Let's just say, I had need for it. And it helps to have a friend in Dauntless."

A vague answer. But I guess that's all I'm going to get. I set off down the hallway, heading for the dormitory.

"Goodnight." I call over my shoulder. Back to Abnegation formalities.

"Night, Beatrice." I hear him whisper back.

The night swallows his answer like the sun in a cloud.

* * *

A/N hope you enjoyed it! I did! Review please, my pretties!


	11. Smoke in the Shadows

A/N okay. Next installment is here. Woo! I'm glad you all like my new twist, and thank you for the reviews! :D

Disclaimer: I don't own Divergent, or any of the characters except for the OCs. Yeah. I'm not VRoth.

* * *

The first week of simulations have passed quickly, with none more mind-jarring than the first, the one with the dead Factionless boy. It is obvious that the experience has affected all of us, but we don't talk about it. I think that the rest of them are afraid of being caught, with Abnegation's already fragile status it would be easy to tip the balance. But my silence is different, for I am simply waiting. Waiting for something, a sign. Waiting for a time when I can take revenge on Erudite and their discrimination against the Abnegation, the Factionless, and the Divergent.

I spend every night training with Tobias, and am used to spending the days with my eyes half open. I am getting considerably better as the days go by, I can feel myself getting stronger.

I quicken my pace through the darkened streets, Tobias alongside me. Tonight, Tobias taught me how to fight with a knife. I mastered it easily, after I got over my misgivings, managing to hit the bullseye on my seventh throw. Tobias was impressed, though he never does show it.

We slip and slide through the streets, dancing between the shafts of light and hiding from the cold moon. We have developed a kind of connection now, from fighting together, we can anticipate what the other is thinking, is feeling, can read the patterns in eachother's movements. We are running through the night as one, rebels in the dark, smoke in the shadows.

Tobias stops at the base of the fire escape, staring up at the moon while the moon glares down at him. His face is strangely twisted, pained, as if trying to push something away from his mind. He turns to me, though I am the first to speak.

"Thank you." These two words usually sound forced coming from me, but this time I am truly thankful. "For this. For everything. I feel... Less trapped. Freer. As if I actually have some influence on this world."

"We all do. I think... You especially. You're so brave, and smart, and selfless. You will do something good for this world." He is staring fiercely at me when he says this, and I know that I should feel grateful but am just confused.

"Me? No. And I'm not selfless. You of all people should know that."

"Really? What about the train? And Paul? And the boy in the simulation? Tris, you may not readily give an old lady a sponge bath but you will give anything to help those people you care about. It's when you are acting bravely that you are most selfless."

I am taken aback. I don't really know if I believe these things. I just manage to say, "Tris? Sorry, what did you call me?"

Tobias smiles, a rare thing. Though sometimes the rarest things are the most amazing, so maybe that is why it makes my stomach flip. "Tris. It's... A nickname. I've had a lot of Dauntless company over the past few years, and I have to say that I've picked up some of their habits. Including the nicknames. I think it suits you."

I scoff. "Tris? Really? Well, just don't call me that when there are Abnegation around."

Tobias grins again. "Let's not stand out here in the cold." He starts climbing the railing and I follow.

"So, I'll see you later, Tris."

I roll my eyes. "Bye, Tobias."

As he turns down the hall, I swear that I see a slight spring in the normally stoic Tobias' step. I tiptoe after him, a smile tugging at my lips.

•••

I inspect this morning's breakfast. Porridge. Ick. I push my plate away and glance up at the clock, signaling that there are ten minutes left of breakfast. I sigh and look around the table, at all blank faces, all the grey robes. The Abnegation try to be unnoticed, emphasizing their value of selflessness. But in a room of Abnegation, I stick out like a sore thumb.

Real Abnegation don't have bruises all over their face from sneaking out to practice combat every night.

Real Abnegation don't have unruly wisps hanging out of their bun because they slept in and didn't have time to dress properly.

Real Abnegation don't abandon their porridge even though it tastes horrible.

Real Abnegation don't tune out other people's small talk to think about themselves.

Real Abnegation don't daydream about what might have happened if they chose a different faction.

Real Abnegation don't plot revenge against the Erudite.

But, then again, I am not Abnegation.

•••

"Today's simulation," Tobias says as he enters the room, "Will test some of you to your absolute limits. It will measure your true ability of selflessness, how far you are willing to go for another person."

Tobias scans the line of initiates, expression bland.

"The simulation reads the information from your mind, it senses what you most dread and fear. Then, it creates a simulation to play on those fears. It is the ultimate test for the Abnegation. If you will face your deepest fears for another, you truly do belong here."

The tension in the room is so high that it could be strung onto a violin and played a minor fanfare, rough and loud and raw with fear.

"Susan."

Susan trembles as she rises, clenching her fists tightly in her robes. Her face is stretched and thin. She looks back at me with wide eyes, and I attempt a reassuring smile. She turns and the door closes softly on her back with a breath of air that sounds like a sigh.

We sit in silence in the waiting room, watching the clock, the only decoration in the room, slowly tick up to eleven o'clock. A full twenty minutes have passed when Susan stumbles out the door, head down and hands shaking. She shuffles out of the room as Tobias calls the name of a faceless Abnegation born. The boy in question is crouching in a corner, and rises slowly, tears staining his cheeks. I see Tobias shoot him a contemptuous look, just a twitch of the eyes, barely concealed from all but me.

The hands of the clock tick steadily along, tick tock, tick tock. The scuffling of feet and buzz of the electric light are the loudest sounds I hear.

It is half past eleven when the door clicks open and the boy scuttles away, as if a mouse running away to hide in a hole.

"Beatrice."

I look up at Tobias, standing stiffly by the door. He nods and I get up to head over. I steady my feet and raise my chin high. I will not be afraid.

When the door clicks shut behind me, a shiver creeps up my spine. Tobias gestures to the chair, and I sit down. He fastens the straps and I barely flinch as the needle pierces my skin. As he is adjusting the straps, Tobias does the most surprising thing. He brushes some unruly wisps from my forehead and kisses the top of my head softly.

"Be brave, Tris."

And the scene is swallowed in darkness.

A/B ooooh! Simulation time! Btw guys, this simulation is virtually the fear landscape in canon-world. So yeah. Please review! I love reviews! REVIEWERS GET VIRTUAL CAKE! EVERYBODY LOVES CAKE!


	12. The Simulation (part 1)

A/N hellooooooooo! Next chapter is here and I know that I left off on a horrific cliffhanger, so I tried to finish this as quickly as possible. For this A/N I have several things to say so I made a list. I like lists.

1. I actually split this chapter into two because it was so long. But never fear, I will not be so torturous as to withhold the second chapter! I am posting both at the same time so remember to read them both.

2. In case you missed it, this simulation is basically the fear landscape, except modified to test selflessness. It reads the fears of each person and creates a situation where someone is threatened and the person has to face their fear to save them.

3. Some of Tris' fears, you will realize, are different to the book. I had to modify some to fit her life in Abnegation, and I actually got rid of the intimacy because Tris hasn't really realized it yet, cos she and Tobias aren't together. But they will be, soon, I promise!

4. Thank you for the reviews! I swear, you guys are the best. I just love hearing your feedback. It brightens my day :)

Sooooo here is what you have all been waiting for! Enjoy and review please!

* * *

From the swirling nothingness, a blurry, flickering face comes into focus before me. It blinks, frowns. Its blonde hair is hanging chopping from a hasty bun. Its pale grey eyes glower at mine. The face is mine.

I lift my hand to meet hard glass. Where am I?

I turn around to see I am in a large glass box, about the size of a normal room. A little girl crouches in the corner, and when she looks up I see that she has no face. Her short brown hair ends in a tight stretch of skin over bone, with no defining features.

And then I notice something even more disturbing. Cold water is seeping into the tank, rising from the bottom with no visible source. I look up, the tank ends in another sheet of glass. If this keeps up, the girl and I will both drown.

I turn back around and use one of my newly learned roundhouse kicks to smash the tank wall. Not a crack. I punch it again, again, kick, again. Nothing. The girl is crying now, wailing, though she has no mouth or eyes. I need to get out of here, I need to get us both out of here.

The water is now lapping at my thighs, greedy and cold. I turn back to the wall and set to attacking it again. To no effect.

My toes and hands are aching, and the water is rising up my neck when I stop. I turn back to the girl, who is flailing, her head below the water. I paddle over and she scrabbled at my arms, nearly dragging me under. I lug her onto my shoulders and she clutches my head tightly while I head back to the window. I can't leave someone to die here. Even in a simulation.

I glower at the glass, water at my chin. There must be a way. It's a simulation, the glass isn't real, it isn't physical. Simulations deceive the brain, don't they? So can't I use my brain to change them?

I close my eyes, feeling a little foolish, and think as hard as I can.

The glass is ice.

I punch the wall and take a peek. A crack has appeared, a tiny little crack. But a crack all the same.

The glass is ice.

Bang. The crack is longer now, but the water is almost above my nose.

The glass is ice.

A spiderweb of cracks creaks through the glass. I take a deep breath as the water rises above my head, I need to finish this quickly. I need to finish this now.

The glass is ice.

Smash. More cracks. It isn't breaking, it isn't breaking! This is a simulation, but I can't leave a little girl to die, even in my head.

The glass is ice. The glass is ice. THE GLASS IS ICE!

The glass shatters with a crash, and we tumble into the room in a knot of limbs. Safe.

And then the scene swims away into nothing.

•••

Little shards of colors swim into vision, slowly. A world begins to piece together.

A breeze ruffles through my hair, long grass whips at my ankles, and a bright sun warms my back. I am in an dandelion field, rolling endlessly into the sunset. I tense, there must be something waiting in the shadows.

Suddenly, a cloud blocks the sunlight and the scene is bathed in shadow. The wind stops blowing and the grass stands still and silent. Something flickers at the edge of my vision.

"Beatrice!" It is my mother. "Beatrice! Help!"

She is lying on the ground, and she is pale, so pale. A dark pool is gathering beneath. It takes a while for my brain to register that it is blood.

"Mother!" I race over the field, but my footsteps aren't leading anywhere, not matter how fast I run. A furious flapping noise fills the air, amidst my mother's screams for help and my own yells. Black shapes flitter around me, pulling at my clothes, my hair. Thy have no real form, but they manage to tear at my skin. They surround me, and it is all I can do to fight them off, even as they rip me to pieces, and I stop. My mother's screams are barely registered in my mind, I am losing control, I can't fight these things. I can't win. I can't save my mother. It doesn't matter how many things I bat away, more and more replace them, more and more join the others to tear me apart. Hot blood seeps into my eyes, and there is no hope. No hope for me. I can't fight this.

I scream into the black, raw and helpless, and flail at the monsters, my heart heavy and quick in my chest.

A small voice echoes in my mind. No, it says, this is a simulation. It isn't real. I need to control my fear.

Tobias words swim into my consciousness. "Be brave, Tris."

Maybe that is the point of this simulation. To be brave. To face my fears for the sake of helping others. Bravery for the sake of selflessness.

I slowly bring my arms to my side, letting the black things rip at me, feeling the blood and the claws and the rushing air against my bare skin, controlling my quick breaths. In, out. In, out. I can do this. I can. I just need a weapon.

I curl my fingers in the grass and they close on the cool, cool metal of a gun. I lift it, my hand fitting into the grooves perfectly. I have never used a gun. I don't know how. But I don't need to.

I pull the trigger and shoot a bullet into the sky, the bang echoing through my bones and the surrounding field. The black shapes startle and flap away into the sky, disappearing as quickly as they came.

"Beatrice!"

I spin around and run towards my mother, lying prone in the grass. The ground beneath starts to feel soft, and then the sky falls away and I am back in that grey nothing world.

•••

I can't breathe, I can't move. I'm tied up, ropes bind me to a tall wooden pole. My feet hang suspended above the ground, which is littered with sticks. I look around, and see three more people, my mother, my father, and Caleb. They are tied as I am, staring blankly at me. Their unblinking eyes disturb me.

Yells demand my attention from my right, and I see a crowd of people. There is Susan, Paul, and all the other initiates. At the front, stands Tobias. He glares at me, his deep blue eyes contorted and cruel.

"You aren't Abnegation. You can never be one of us. You little traitor, you will never fit in this society. You... Divergent!" He spits the words as he brandishes a torch from thin air. "And so, traitor, you and your family must pay."

Tobias goes over to my father and lights the wood at the bottom. Flames lick their way up to his feet, but my father simply stares at me, eyes blank and holding none of the person he is to me. Tobias laughs.

"And who is next, mother or brother?" He drawls, before lighting Caleb's pole. He is staring, too. Just staring.

"And now your mother..." Tobias holds the torch to my mother's pole, before walking over to me. He stands taller, and whispers in my ear, "You deserve this. All of you deserve this. Divergent rebel scum."

He touches the torch to the base of my pole, and flames blossom, creeping up to my toes.

I hear a cold, clear sound above the crackling, a high-pitched laugh that pierces my eardrums and reverberates through my bones. It is a sound that is evil and unnatural coming from Tobias' throat, though it most definitely is. I glare at him as the flames lick my feet, blocking out the empty bodies of my family, burning along with me.

"What's wrong, Beatrice? Hoping for rain?" He cackles.

This comment strikes me, and I lift my hand, spreading it palm up to the sky. "No need to hope," I say softly. "It's already here."

The sky explodes in heavy rain and hard drops splatter on the flames, dousing them immediately. I am drenched and shaking, and feel a shudder in my throat, escaping as a humorless laugh. I laugh to the sky, and the rain, and the flames, and Tobias, and the simulation, laughing for no reason at all, but laughing all the same.

* * *

A/N ooh. Hee hee. Remember to read the next half :)


	13. The Simulation (part 2)

A/N next half of the simulation! Enjoy and review!

* * *

I am dumped suddenly in a surging mass of water, waves tearing and pulling and pushing at me, my lungs filling with fluid. I attempt a stroke, but the water is too strong, it is all I can do to keep my head in sight of the sky. I tread water, holding my breath intermittently but still choking, my lungs burning.

And then, a scream. High pitched, desperate, and thin, choked. I strain above the waves, searching the black water. And then I see, a drenched grey figure, struggling in the water. Susan. And next to her, also in grey. Paul.

I kick my legs with all my might, slowly but surely propelling my self through the surging sea to my friends. It takes ten minutes, seven lungfuls of water, and two near drowning a before I finally reach them, utterly drained and only just able to lift my head above the waves.

My limbs are heavy and aching, but I move on and stretch a hand out to Susan. She looks at me, eyes wide, and grasps my arm with a desperate force, almost dragging me under. Paul takes my shoulder, both of them gasping and bobbing and scrabbling to stay out of the water.

They are almost drowning me, pushing me under as they pull themselves up. I gasp at the air, limited and only available when the two lose their grip. Susan is gripping my head, forcing it into the dark water, and I can't breathe, my lungs are on fire, fluid is flowing into my lungs instead of air, and I'm sinking, sinking, sinking.

"Be brave, Tris."

No. No. I have to do this. I have to.

I summon the last dregs of energy from the corners of my being, and manage to grasp one of the flailing hands, using my other arm to pull myself above the water. The air is like a gift from heaven, and I take huge gulps before grabbing another arm. I hold Paul and Susan firmly away from me, out of reach of their splashing limbs.

"Stop," I gasp. "I'll get you out. Just stop."

They seem to hear me, but don't stop their flailing. I give up and look around wildly, for any sign of land. There, under the blazing red moon, a cluster of black rocks.

I start kicking my legs, twisting my body to propel myself as well as Susan and Paul. After a while, they start paddling too, and it becomes easier. After an immeasurable time, I push them both up to the rocks, and then slowly drag myself up. I lie flat on the rock pools, staring at the blood red moon, for only a few seconds before the world is once again whisked away.

•••

The scene is so real, so perfectly how I remember it that I almost think that this whole simulation, the whole initiation, was a dream. That I have just woken up from a strange nightmare.

I am standing in my old room, with the same grey walls, grey ceiling, grey carpet, single bed, dresser and cupboard. And a single window overlooking the street. It is exactly as it should be.

Or not.

As I turn, hundreds of other versions of me turn too. One wall, which should be blank, is covered with mirrors.

All the faces blink at me, in unison. Except one.

One reflection is not moving as I do, one reflection is not reflecting me.

Because it isn't a reflection.

It is another me.

The other Tris steps forward, smiling strangely. There are other things about her that do not mirror me, she is wearing tight black clothes, and has a tattoo of some birds on her collarbone, like the Dauntless. She puts out her hand, as if to shake. But the Abnegation do not shake hands.

Another shape appears in the mirror, reflected a hundred times. A person, with a skin-stretched-over-bone face with no features. I blink, and he is standing right beside the other Tris. I blink again and there are twenty of the faceless men. I blink again and the other me screams. I blink again and they have her by the arms, and are dragging her out the door.

"No! Stop! Help!" Yells the other me. I stand there, stupefied, until one of the men slap her sharply across the face, leading another to plant a punch her stomach, and then they are beating her on the floor of my old room, and blood is staining the carpet.

I have to do something. I can't just stand her while this- other me- is killed. But I can't fight twenty men alone.

I turn back to the mirrors and visualize what I want. There, the mirror with the cracked corner, is actually a door. And behind it is a cupboard, holding a fully loaded gun.

I close my eyes and reach forward, gasping when the mirror swings out. I plunge my hand into the hole, and touch the cold metal of a gun.

I grasp it, and whirl around, fitting my fingers into the grooves. I squeak my eyes open, and pull the trigger. And again and again and again. I wait until every featureless man has fallen and my index finger is aching before I stop. The other me is lying on the floor in a pool of fresh blood.

•••

The next scene is a simple concrete room, small and cramped. Sitting in front of me, tied to chairs, are my mother, father, and Caleb. They are staring up at me.

"Shoot them." A cold voice commands. It takes me while to comprehend what she is saying, and by then she has already repeated the order.

"Shoot them."

I look around, and see the edge of a figure behind me. She presses a cold circle of metal to the back of my head. A gun.

"Did you hear me, girl? Shoot them."

"No." I reply, my voice wavering. I am not really sure what this situation is about, what fear I am facing. What am I supposed to do this time?

"Shoot them. Now."

"No." I repeat, stronger. The woman jabs the gun into my head.

I see something out of the corner of my eye, a table, and on it, a gun. My arm moves of its on accord, however much I try to stop it, and my fingers close around the pistol.

"It's alright, Beatrice. We understand." My mother tones, her voice full of love and forgiveness. But they can't forgive me. Because I can't kill them.

"You have to do it, Beatrice. Be a good girl and obey the lady. Don't worry about us." Says my father.

"No. I won't."

"Beatrice. Do it. Please. We understand, it's okay." Caleb look up at me, shifting his chair so that his head is pressed up against the butt of the gun. "Please, Beatrice. We understand."

"No!" I say, louder.

"Shoot them, girl. Now!" She forces the pistol further into my hair.

"No!" I yell.

"Shoot them! You have ten seconds. Nine."

"Please, Beatrice. It's okay. Just remember that we love you." My mother says.

"Eight."

"It's alright. Do it, Beatrice."

"Seven."

"No! I won't! I can't!"

"Six."

"Beatrice, please try to understand. We forgive you." My father intones.

"Five."

"No! No you don't! I won't shoot you!"

"Four."

"Beatrice, we love you. Remember. We understand." My mother pleads.

"Three."

"Do it, Beatrice. Please." Caleb look at me around the pistol that is position between his eyes.

"Two."

I can't do it. I can't kill my family. But what can I do? If I don't, she will shoot me... But what is life without my family? What is life with that kind of guilt?

"One."

And I realize what I must do, what has been my decision all along. What must be done.

My arm moves mechanically, bringing the gun up to my forehead.

"Zero."

I pull the trigger.

* * *

A/N cue dramatic music! What will happen when Tris wakes up? Ooh... Hope you liked my version of Tris' fears! Please review!


	14. Waking Up

A/N next chappie! Yay! Thank you so much for the reviews, and I hope you keep on doing it, but I think you can do better than two. Please? It really makes my week when you do!

Anyway, here it is. Hope you likey!

* * *

When I wake up, I keep my eyes closed for a second. I take a deep breath and try to calm my furiously beating heart.

When I open my eyes, a familiar face is staring oddly at me, Tobias, but his eyes are back to the deep, calm blue and not the cruel, clear colour of the simulation. He is simply staring, and it unsettles me.

"What?" I ask rudely.

He pauses. "You..." he starts to say, then closes his mouth and starts again, his voice back to the commanding instructor tone. "Five fears, impressive. Predictable for some who is Divergent, but still impressive, even on that scale."

He nods, as if the compliment has been said and will no longer be mentioned.

He quickly undoes the straps binding me to the chair, his fingers fumbling in a way that is very unlike the calm and collected Tobias I know. When I am freed from the chair I stand up slowly, and head to the door. I place my hand on the knob, when the silence becomes too overwhelming. I feel like there are things that should be said, but no one is saying them.

I turn back to look at Tobias, who is preparing a syringe for the next person, his back to me. He seems to sense my eyes on him, and his shoulders tense, but he does not turn around. I sigh and turn the knob, re-entering the real world, leaving the unanswered questions in my wake.

•••

That night, I return to the balcony where Tobias and I meet each night before going out to practice combat. I wait from curfew well until dawn, tracking the moon across the sky. I listen as intently as possible, searching the streets.

Tobias does not appear.

•••

Next morning's breakfast is a quiet, tense affair, and the meal's stray from gluggy porridge does nothing to brighten the mood.

I sigh audibly as I finish the last of my buttered toast, glancing round at all the equally troubled faces. The simulation had an effect on all of us, though me least of all, strangely.

"Excuse me, everyone."

Ten faces rise to see Tobias standing at the head of the table.

"Yesterday's simulation, I know, has troubled and even frightened some of you. Please be aware that, although vivid, it was just nothing more than that."

Most of the other initiates are looking at Tobias blankly, registering his words but not feeling the emotions that should come with them. I guess some were even more effected by the simulation that I thought.

Tobias continues, "The simulation was developed to test the extremity of your selflessness, and how you will act, for others of for yourself, when threatened by your deepest fears.

"To learn your own fears can affect some people greatly, and to know how you will act when faced by them is an even more troubling realization. But it is required, as your place in our society will be determined greatly by these results.

"You will have the day to recover from the simulations, as this is the first trial of these simulations in Abnegation and we want to monitor how you cope." Tobias glances up at the clock. "You are dismissed."

We file out of the room slowly and obediently, heading back to the dormitory. Most of us are not used to having spare time, just for themselves, me along with them, and we are not quite sure how to spend it, or what we would enjoy doing.

Most of the others sit on their beds staring at their shoes as if they are trying to make them grow ten sizes, sort out their socks, or talk quietly. Susan, Paul and I wander the corridors to make use of our spare time without unwanted intrusion.

"This is strange. I've never had free time before. What are we supposed to do?" Susan says.

"Recover, I suppose. That simulation rocked me more than I would have thought. It's kind of disconcerting knowing what you would do in those situations."

Susan shudders. "Especially when some of your fears are totally irrational."

"Hmm. I guess that would apply to my fear of caterpillars then."

I barely conceal a laugh. "Caterpillars?"

"Don't laugh. It's just that they're so wriggly and furry and disgusting. And their faces- all squinty and hairy."

"Don't worry, Paul." That's Susan, always trying to comfort other people. Even if it means putting herself down. "Caterpillars pale in comparison with my fear of tennis balls."

This time Paul is the one who laughs, muffling it quickly, though. It is frowned upon to laugh at others in Abnegation.

"Why tennis balls?" he asks.

Susan looks embarrassed. "Well... When I was really little, my dad took me to the school that he works at, because he had to pick up some tests or something. He told me to wait for him outside the building and play with the sports equipment, because I was really young and got bored easily.

"So I waited outside, but eventually I wandered over to the other side of the school, and got lost. I wasn't waiting for ten minutes, but that seems like hours when you're six. So, when I saw my dad looking for me, I ran to him. Right through where a class was playing tennis.

"They bombarded me, all over my head and body, and it really hurt, and they didn't stop. I just laid on the ground and curled up in a ball screaming until my dad rescued me. But they never stopped hitting those tennis balls, and for a while I never understood why. But after a few years I realized. That class of students, they were all wearing blue. They may have only been about sixteen, but I think that, if allowed, those Erudite would have beat me for long after my dad saved me."

Paul and I are both silent now. We have stopped walking, and are staring at the floor. Until I finally gather the courage to speak.

"Those Erudite need to be stopped."

* * *

A/N and yes, Tris. They do. So, please review! I can promise some epic fourtris moments in the next chapter! Bye!


	15. A Reason

A/N Here is the next chapter, a little early because I was motivated by all those reviews! I think that's a record! Btw- some great fourtris interaction in here. Please read and review! It definitely makes my day!

That night, Tobias does eventually turn up at the balcony where I am waiting. He nods mutely at me and gestures for me to follow him outside and through the streets.

We reach his house quickly, and when I ascend the stairs to the roof I see that the training area has been transformed.

The bags of grain have been piled in a corner, replaced by a couple of wooden boards with red circles painted on them. Targets.

On the tables glints an array of dark shapes. Reflecting the cold moon is a row of hard-edged guns.

"We'll be learning shooting today." Tobias states. "Grab one and I'll show you how."

I hesitate, remembering my simulation, how I held that gun in my hands, and aimed it at Caleb. How I finally reversed it, and put a bullet into my own skull.

Tobias notices my hesitation and selects a small pistol for me, pressing it into my palm. The cold metal is like ice against my skin.

"Watch me. Stand in your fighting stance, except a little more front-on. Shoulders high, and keep your eyes on the target. That is the most important thing. You have to concentrate on where you are shooting." he explains.

Tobias picks up a pistol and aims it at the target, before pulling the trigger. Dead centre. And he does it so naturally and easily that it is hard not to think that he should belong in Dauntless, not Abnegation.

"Now you try."

I assume the stance and raise the gun, staring intently at the red circle. It is simple, firing a gun, just a twitch of the finger and you can render a person lifeless.

I breathe in and concentrate, trying to see the target as just what it is and not my mother, or even me.

I pull the trigger slowly, and a jolt forces me to step back quickly. The bullet hits the the corner of the target, about a meter from the circle. I can't but feel proud that I hit the target on my first try, but Tobias isn't as impressed.

"You need to control that pullback. And your fingers are all wrong. Here, it's like this." I halt my breath when Tobias takes my hand and realigns my grip, his long callused fingers delicate on mine. He pauses for a second, both of us still.

Tobias snatches his hand away quickly, as if it burned him, retreating a few steps back.

"Again." he orders, voice stiff and bland.

I lift my arms and take aim, focussing on my grip and keeping my stance steady. I pull the trigger for the second time, one eye closes to centre on the target.

The bullet shoots through the air, creating a small hole on the right side of the bullseye.

"Better. You still need to adjust your hand. And keep tension in your stomach. Remember that."

"Yes." I mutter. Why is he like this? Why is he close to a friend one minute, then a condescending instructor the next?

The session continues like that for another half hour, with me shooting bullet after bullet and him correcting mistake after mistake.

Finally, Tobias looks up at the sky and decides that it is time to head back. We run through the shadows to the compound, pausing as we always do below the balcony.

"Goodnight, Tris." he says in an undertone. He raises a hand to brush my cheek with the tips of his fingers, his deep blue eyes staring intently at me. The next second, he pulls his arm away and steps back.

"Tomorrow night's session will be considerably longer. We have much to work on." His voice has reverted back to a monotone, his eyes now hard and dull.

He puts his foot on the first bar of the balcony before the words burst out of my mouth.

"Why are you doing that?"

He turns around slowly. "What?"

"You know. That thing. Where you act like a real, feeling person one minute, and then a monotonic, rude, society-controlled Abnegation the next."

His blue eyes shine with a hint of anger. Well, there's some of that emotion.

"Why do you think, Beatrice? Why don't you take a wild guess?" His voice is low and controlled, but only just so.

"Well maybe I could if you would actually be an empathetic, thinking person like you were just a few days ago!"

"Beatrice Prior, do you know why I am like I am? Do you know why I can fight? Do you know why I live alone, and not with my father as I should?" His voice has risen now, and I am afraid that someone will hear us.

I shake my head. "Maybe you could tell me, and then I would have a reason! And maybe then you wouldn't pretend to be a unfeeling robot!"

"You want to know why? Do you really? Do you care? Well, then I'll tell you, Beatrice Prior! I'll tell you!" he lowers his tone to a low growl. "My father was a cold, evil man. He beat me, til I was bruised and bleeding, locked me in the closet for hours and hours. My mother too. You want proof, of course. Well," he turns around and lifts up the back of his shirt, revealing a patchwork of pink scars. I let out a stifled gasp.

"I think that is proof enough, don't you?" he turns back around and takes a step closer. "And you think I should have run from him? Transferred factions? No. I couldn't do that. So I stayed. And I trained. I found someone from Dauntless willing to teach me, so I learnt all they knew.

"And one night, he caught me sneaking out to train. I had been planning to fight back for a while, to make him pay, blackmail him into giving me my own house and leaving me alone. So when he took out his belt, just as he did when I was young, I should have fought him. I could have. But I didn't. I stood and winced as he hit me again and again. When he beat me down onto the floor, I didn't get up. I didn't lay a hand on him. I was more than capable of turning on him and reversing the situation. But I didn't. I didn't find the courage I needed in this place. And when he left me bruised and injured on the floor, I simply limped into my room and bandaged my wounds.

"When I turned eighteen, they allowed me to have my own house, and I took it eagerly. But I have never paid my father back for what he did to me, and my mother, even though she is gone."

"So, Beatrice, that is why. That is why I am like I am, why I can fight. Why I don't really belong here, or anywhere, just as you do. As to your other question? The one about me being an unfeeling robot? Well, you might have to wait a little for that one. Especially since the answer pertains to you, and I am not feeling particularly friendly to you at the moment. So, hope you're happy with that. Goodnight." Tobias leaps onto the balcony, scales it in record time and disappears into the building

I am left speechless in the shadows, with more questions than answers. Marcus beat Tobias. Marcus Eaton, the leader of Abnegation, beat his son and wife. And Tobias trained, planned to face him. But he couldn't.

And as for my original question, it pertains to me.

I can't help but gaze up at the moon for the next hour, working my mind around the conversation, before I climb up the balcony and retreat to my bed to capture a few hours of sleep.

A/N So there you go. Sorry about that full on argument guys, but I figure that their relationship has to suffer before it will build more. The next chapter will be very exciting for all of you...

Love you all!

-me


	16. A Ray of Light

A/N this next chapter is very exciting. I should know. I wrote it. It's what you have all been waiting for...

And on that note, here is the chapter!

Disclaimer: I don't own Divergent. Veronica Roth does.

* * *

The next morning when I file into the dining room, I notice a small crowd in the corner, around a blackboard.

I nudge Paul. "What's going on?"

"Apparently are scores for the simulation are up."

"Scores? We were ranked?"

"I guess so. Unfortunately the whole world will see my miserable attempt."

I shuffle through the crowd, urgent whispers being tossed over my head. I begin to notice some of the initiates and other full members casting strange looks at me- some of awe, but some of suspicion.

Two initiates part for me at the front, and though I am shorter than both they seem to treat me as if I am important, or dangerous.

The ranks are calculated using the time it took to complete the simulation and the number of fears. And at the very top of the board...Is my name.

Beatrice Prior.

I stand, shell-shocked for a second. I ranked first. I had the best score.

I scan along the list, studying the eleven names. Susan has ranked an admirable second place, though the gap between her score and mine is large. She has twelve fears, to my six, and completed the simulation in thirty eight minutes, compared to my nine.

Paul has managed to snag eighth place, with sixteen fears and a time of fifty four minutes, behind most of the Abnegation born and the Candor transfer.

I read the statistics next to my name again, trying to comprehend them.

Beatrice Prior. Six fears. Nine minutes.

Maybe I really do belong in Dauntless, not Abnegation.

•••

Today we have a meeting in the hall, about the options for our occupations in our new faction. As we take our seats in front of the stage, I notice that there are not just Abnegation in the room.

Standing by the door is a row of five Erudite leaders, flanked by a couple of Dauntless. One in particular catches my eye, a young man no more than eighteen, sporting dozens of piercings all over his face, which is twisted into a malicious scowl.

"Welcome to Abnegation, initiates." announces Marcus from the stage. "Or, should I say, members, now."

I cannot help but glare at Marcus now, searching him for a reason, a sign, something to show that he is the monster that Tobias described. And though I cannot see an evil glint in his eye, I do not doubt that Marcus did beat his son.

"There are many choices that you must make to lay out your new life, such as your occupation..."

I tune out Marcus' ramblings and eye the visitors at the door. They are not looking attentively at Marcus as everyone is doing, but scanning over the audience. The pierced Dauntless man catches my eye and smiles, the piercings stretching into gaping holes gruesomely.

He nudges the Erudite next to him and they both study me, along with the Erudite's clipboard, as if comparing me with a photo. I glare back at them defiantly, but a thought niggles at the back of my mind.

What if they can tell that I am Divergent? What if they know my simulation results, what if they suspect me?

The visitors abruptly exit the hall, and Marcus finishes up his speech.

"You will have the next few days to finalize your decisions about your new occupations and such. You are dismissed."

•••

I shuffle out of bed and slink through the dormitory, careful not to disturb anyone. I rub the crinkles out of my clothes and tiptoe through the shadows, progressing through the corridors until I reach the balcony.

I am simultaneously hoping, dreading and not expecting Tobias to turn up. To my shock, I see his silhouette through the window against the moon. I stop for a second, pondering whether I should meet him, how he will react, what I will say, but something inside me forces my feet forward, and all too soon I am standing behind him, staring up at the now familiar moon.

"Because of your simulation."

I take a sharp breath. "What?"

"The answer to your question. About why...why I was acting like I was. It was because of your simulation."

"What about my simulation?" I ask, a little confused that he is actually talking to me.

"Everything. Especially...especially the last one."

Oh yes. How could I forget.

"You are so brave, Tris. So selfless. Too much so. I'm afraid, afraid that if ... If you care about me, then you will have even more... More to sacrifice yourself for. Just like in the simulation." He pauses for a second. "She told you to kill them. Any other person, under that kind of pressure, with no way out...they would crack. They would take the easy option, obey the demanding force. They would kill their family. But not you."

My mouth is drier than a sun baked desert. "What would you do, then?"

Tobias laughs humorlessly. "Oh, that's easy. I only have one family member left. And I would not hesitate to kill him, to cast his soul into hell where it belongs." he spits, with obvious distaste. "But you, you have real family. Family... That you would kill yourself to save. I don't want to be someone you care about, not if it means that you will put yourself in danger for me." He pauses. "Isn't it strange that the things that I like about you are just the things that keep me away."

I stand behind Tobias, breathing slowly, for I don't even know how long. But sometime in the silence I climb through the window and sit beside Tobias, both of us studying the crevices of the waxing crescent moon.

"It's too late, then," I mutter after an immeasurable length of time. "You'll just have to deal with the fact that I do care about you, even if it means that I might put myself in danger because of it. So, really, too little too late."

Tobias turns to me, his face crinkled, blue eyes soft and searching. "God, Tris. Smart, brave, selfless Tris." His fingers brush my cheek. "Why? I don't want you to put yourself in danger for me. I don't want to be a weight in your life. I don't want to be another person you would... Do that for. Why did you do it? Why did you kill yourself, rather than kill them?"

I look at him, gathering the words I need in my mind. "The same reason I stayed in Abnegation. Because I can't fathom a life without those I love, a life without people you care for and who care for you back is not a life at all. And I just couldn't bear it, I couldn't kill someone I love just to save my own life. I can't. Simple as that. I just can't." Tobias notes my change into the present tense with a softening of the eyes.

"Well, just don't put yourself in danger like that again. Please. At least, not for me." He fits his fingers under my chin and raises my face so his eyes meet mine.

"I can't promise that." I whisper, but I am already leaning closer.

"Then neither can I." I barely hear him mumble.

And before I can register that Tobias' hand is buried in my hair and my arms are around his neck, his lips are on mine.

And this moment feels so right, so needed, like we have both been waiting for so long. Just like that, the creature that has been trapped inside me for so so long, strains toward Tobias and I feel a ray of light in my soul, a sense of freedom. I feel like the freedom that I have long been yearning for is now so much closer, found not in Dauntless, but in the simple joy of finding someone that you would defy heaven and earth for. The moment is so simply perfect that I can't help but wish this night would go on forever.

Next second, a cacophony of agonized screams shatter the still night.

* * *

A/N

I am so, very sorry. As a fellow reader, I feel your pain. But this was the only way to end the chapter! :(

Anyway, please review and tell me what you think. Constructive criticism is always welcomed. I would love to know what you think about my twists on the Divergent world, and your thoughts on the Fourtris stuff.

Bye bye! -RA102


	17. Mercy

a/n. hi everyone! How's life?

Thank you soooo much for the reviews. Again, constructive criticism anyone? I love it!

Anyway. Another thing. I am thinking of starting a new story, which will be about the Divergent characters in present day. Tris is sent to a boarding school in Chicago, a very interesting one. Of course Tobias is there too! So, do you think I should start it? Of course it would mean that I would update less frequently for this story. So I'm not sure. I really need your feedback, or nothing will happen! Seriously! So please review and tell me what I should do. Thank you in advance!

Here ya go. :D

* * *

I leap up quickly, away from Tobias, and hurriedly scan the streets, searching for the source of the terrible sound.

I see it.

There, just a few blocks away, a crowd of black-clad Dauntless wielding guns and knives, being led by blue-clad Erudite.

And small groups of grey-clad Abnegation falling to the ground one by one.

This is it. The Erudite have attacked. War is here.

"Tris! Come on!" Tobias yells, already starting to climb down the balcony.

I mentally shake myself and follow him out of the building, then through the streets, running harder and faster than I have ever before, casting frantic glances at the army that blends just so into the shadows of the night.

"Where are we going? What do we do?" I shout as we tear through the streets.

"My house. We'll need some weapons if we're going to fight." Tobias replies matter-of-factly.

I smile inwardly. Of course we are going to fight. And I am going to protect my new faction, my family, with everything I have.

We turn a corner to face a lone soldier, gun raised and pointed right at us. Tobias does not hesitate.

He leaps at the soldier before she can fire, swatting the gun out of her hands and using it to deal her a bruise on the forehead. She collapses to the pavement, and I stumble over her as Tobias beckons me on.

We finally reach his house, and hurry up to the roof to equip ourselves with weapons.

Tobias hands me a black bundle of cloth.

"Put these on. There's no way you can survive a real fight in those baggy old Abnegation clothes. Bathroom's on the ground floor, turn right."

I nod and hurry down the stairs to find the bathroom. I inspect the clothing, a simple pair of black camo pants and a black t-shirt, the collar a little to low for my taste. But that's Dauntless, I guess.

I quickly pull on the clothes, as well as a heavy leather belt equipped with scabbards and straps to fit weapons. Finding a small tear in my Abnegation shirt, I rip off a couple of strips to tie around my arms. I may be fighting like the Dauntless, but I am still Abnegation.

Back up on the roof, I join Tobias who is wearing similar clothes, and also sporting some makeshift grey armbands.

"Take some knives." He gestures at an array of weapons on the table. "I'll be right back." Tobias disappears down the stairs.

I select some small daggers and strap them to my belt. Down on the streets I can hear gunshots, yells and strangled screams with chilling clarity. They are close. Very close.

I walk over to the edge of the roof to peer down into the darkness. I can just make out a black, marching mass, just a bit over a block away. We need to move now. Or we will be sitting ducks.

I take the stairs two at a time, wondering where Tobias could have disappeared to.

"Tobias?" I call down the hallway. "We need to move!"

I strain my ears but there is not a sound anywhere on the house, just the frequent gunshots, shaking my soul and becoming louder and louder, closer and closer.

I sigh and knock on the first door I see. No answer. I push it open, just an empty bathroom.

I move to the next one, progressing down the hallway that makes up the body of the house. They are all devoid of life.

I am starting to panic now, out the window I can see the main bulk of the army just a block away. I hurry back up to the second floor, spotting a second, smaller door next to the one that I usually take to the roof.

"Tobias?" I whisper.

I hear a shuffling of footsteps, and a low growl. The voice is not Tobias'. Then silence. I take a deep breath and push the door open ever so slightly.

Tobias is standing with his back to me, facing a familiar figure. Marcus Eaton. His father.

The Abnegation leader is turned to the side, so he can't see me, so I stay in the doorway, feeling that I have intruded on something important, but unable to bring myself to step out of the room.

"I don't care about what you want. I am not going to the Erudite compound on some selfish, godforsaken mission while a Dauntless army is murdering innocent Abnegation in cold blood!" Tobias says, his voice low and deep as it is when he is trying hard to control his anger.

"Listen to me, Tobias. They have some crucial information that we were about to release to the public, today. That is why they are attacking. To prevent us from telling everyone."

"And what might this life-changing information be?"

"I can't tell you that, son"

Tobias scoffs. "I'm afraid that you will have to leave, if that is your answer. I have an army to fight. And, I am not your son."

Marcus' usually placid expression twists into a mask of anger. His hand shoots out to grab Tobias' arm. His fingers leave red marks on his skin.

"You will go to the Erudite compound. You will retrieve the information. Because you are my son, whether you like it or not." Marcus growls.

"No." Is Tobias' simple answer.

Marcus puffs air out of his mouth in anger. He moves so fast that I can barely see it, and then Tobias is stumbling back, holding his hand to his eye. Marcus glares down at him.

"You will do what I say, my son." He says as he steps forward and lands another punch by his temple, leaving him stumbling and clutching his head.

I don't even register what I am doing before I slam the door open. Marcus' expression morphs quickly from anger to shock, as I bring my arm back and slam it into his shoulder. He stumbles, and I take the opportunity to sweep his legs out from under him. As I am pulling my leg back for another kick, Marcus is suddenly back on his feet. He grabs my arms, pushing me off balance, and my tiny frame is no much for his strength.

His strong fingers are bruising deep beneath my skin, and though I struggle and kick I cannot move out of his hold. He lets go of one arm and backhands me across the cheek, his long nails drawing blood.

In a blink, someone jumps around me and kicks Marcus in the stomach. Tobias hooks his leg behind his father's feet while he is doubling over. The bigger man falls to the ground, and is at the mercy of Tobias' ferocious kicks and poundings to the ribs, stomach and head.

Tobias is beating his father, now lying limp on the carpet, senseless. His hits are powerful and fierce, he is mercilessly pulling punch after punch and kick after kick on his father, unconscious on the ground.

"Tobias." I say softly, stepping forward to touch his arm. "Stop."

He stops, staring down at his father. "He doesn't deserve mercy. He beat me and my mother, making my life a living hell. He is a manipulative, cruel man." He is breathing hard. "And he hurt you."

"Please, Tobias. There's no need to waste time on him. There's a way going on outside. And don't worry about me. I can take care of myself.

He turns, lifting his hand to touch the cut on my face gingerly. "I don't doubt that. But I still find myself always worrying about you."

I let myself stand there for just a few moments, enjoying the feel of his hand on my cheek and his arm around my shoulders.

"We should go. As you said, there's a war going on outside."

* * *

A/N :D I really quite like this chapter. Tobias faces his father! Yay! Hope you liked it too! Please review and tell me what you think! ALSO tell me if I should start the other story or not- details in the a/n up the top. Thank you in advance!


	18. War

A/N hello! Here is the next chappie. Lots of things happen in this one, action-packed! Thank you so much for your reviews!

BTW I'm glad you want to see my new story, and I'll do what you suggested and start it closer to the end of this story. Also, some of you are worried that I'll make them OOC. Don't worry, I'll do as best as I can to keep them canon. And I definitely won't have Tobias call Tris 'honey'. I'll try to keep them as canon as they have been in this story. Just wondering, do you think they have been OOC at all? Cos if they have, please tell me about it in a review so I can fix it and make them better for my new story. Thanks! Love ya!

* * *

"Look at their faces." I breathe as we look down at the window, observing the massive army down on the street. "They're blank. Like they're asleep."

Tobias nods. "Maybe... I can't be sure... But I heard about the Erudite developing some new simulation serums. They could be under the influence of a simulation."

"So Dauntless hasn't really sided with Erudite? They are being controlled?"

"I guess so. Some of them are awake, though. Just aim for the leg or arm. Immobilize them so they can't fight, but don't kill them."

I couldn't imagine killing them. Though I don't know what I might do when my life is threatened.

"I don't think they can look up. So just before they come in the door, we fire. Alright? They'll storm in but we will have taken out most before they reach us." Tobias says. I nod in agreement.

The first few Dauntless wall stiffly over to the door of the apartment. "Ready? One, two, three!"

I pull the trigger, preparing for the kickback. Two of the soldiers fall to the ground, but more replace them. I fire again, again, again. They fall again, again, again.

Eventually a crowd of soldiers batter down the door, and the crash echoes through the house.

"Go!" Yells Tobias, and we run out of the room. I correct my grip on the gun and take a deep breath. Now, I am really fighting in this war. I am immersing myself in Dauntless life. Am I Abnegation any longer?

Shots sound up the stairs, bullets tearing into the wallpaper. Tobias crouches beside the stairway, and motions for me to move beside him.

I hear a muffled creaking as someone attempts to sneak up the stairs, and I ready myself to face the inevitable. I must look someone in the eyes, and shoot them.

Tobias makes me jolt by exploding out into the corridor and firing a round of bullets down the stairs. I hear thumps as numerous bodies fall to the ground. I feel a shiver up my spine with each resounding bang.

I leap into the stairway, fingers tense on the trigger, ready to shoot at a moment's notice.

Five bodies are slumped on the stairs, slick crimson blood dripping slowly down each step.

"They aren't dead." Tobias says quickly. "Just incapacitated."

I look again and see that the wounds are all in the arms or legs. Tobias must be a better shooter than I thought, to hit five soldiers in the same place in the space of about three seconds.

"Let's go." I say and we pick our around the soldiers to the door. Outside the street is quiet but for the marching of feet, most of the Abnegation must either be dead or gone.

"Alright," Tobias whispers. "On my signal, we'll attack. Aim for the limbs, and remember to use your knives. If they turn on us, run into the alleyways to shake them off. If for some reason I am hurt, or you lose sight of me, run. Just run."

I look up at him, into his deep, deep blue eyes, now dark like the sea before a storm. I don't know if I can do that, run and leave him. I can't. It's in my wiring, my blood. Selflessness. Bravery. Sometimes, like now, they can be the same thing.

"Ready?"

I nod.

"Now."

We burst out the door, right behind a group of soldiers who jolt around, clutching their guns. It is instinct, not rational thought, that makes me fire. It is the sheer will to survive, to save those I love, that pulls the trigger again and again to down soldier after soldier.

Eleven black-clad Dauntless soldiers struggle at our feet, unable to hold their weapons or wall with their wounds. I notice something strange about their faces, they should be grimacing in pain, screaming agony to the heavens. But no. Their facial muscles are slack, all wearing the same blank expression.

"Sleepwalkers." Tobias says. "Dauntless didn't ally with Erudite. They are under a simulation. Tools."

"That also means that they will stop at nothing, no emotion or loss or pain. They will keep on going through any human weakness." I hear the words but don't remember shaping them, though they are true. "So we should go before they find a way to shoot."

Tobias jogs off down the street, now deserted except for the odd gray mass that is a dead Abnegation. I cannot help but stop at each one, searching for the familiar features of my parents.

We turn the corner and emerge into complete chaos.

Dauntless soldiers are everywhere, dozens, hundreds. Bullets zip through the air to embed into cowering Abnegation, trying to run away. I see a small girl clutching the hand of her mother, whom I recognize as a member of the council, fall as a badly aimed bullet screams into her back. The mother falls seconds after, and the soldier who shot her seems not to care that he just killed a little kid in cold blood. But then, they don't know what they are doing, do they?

"Now." Tobias says, his tone low and raw.

I am all to eager to burst into the street, and fire at the backs of those who are killing the members of my faction, innocents. I miss several times due to my inadequate aim, but manage to render quite a few incapacitated before too many gather.

As they retaliate, I duck behind a bin as Tobias leaps into an alleyway. We both hit a dozen more from there, timing our shots to stay out of the line of fire.

Maybe, maybe, we can actually save my family. Maybe, maybe, we can save our faction.

I hear yells behind me and glance back, too late. My leg explodes in heat and pain, and I fall, fall, fall. The Tarmac grazes my cheek and I drop my gun, but the pain is unbearable, worse than anything I've ever felt, as if a sun has exploded under my skin and is burning me from the inside out.

I feel a hand against my cheek, Tobias, but I push it away. Dragging my head up, I whisper, "Run."

He can't die for me. I'm dead anyway, he has a chance.

Slowly, he answers, "No."

Tobias stands up and faces my attackers, three Dauntless soldiers, faces twisted in menace. They are not under the simulation. They are doing this willingly.

"Who do we have here?" One sneers, the piercings contorting his skin. I recognize him, he was the one watching me in the gathering hall. "A couple of Abnegation, who can shoot? I doubt you two are just Abnegation."

Tobias glares at him. Says nothing. Then shoots the man next to him in the chest. He falls to the ground, and is dead.

The piercing one doesn't bat an eye. He leaps forward, around Tobias' gun, and punches him in the jaw. He snatches the weapon from him and presses it to his forehead. That was too easy. The Tobias I know would have fought, wouldn't have given up so easily.

"You might want to cooperate, Stiff, if you want your girlfriend here to live." The piercing boy snaps.

I can't help but feel a little flitter inside me at the mention of that, even through the pain. This flitter clears my head, and I manage to position my self better, allowing me to reach the knife at my belt.

"You see, we've had an order to bring her in, along with you if you happened to be with her. Alive, unfortunately."

"Why did you shoot her then?" Tobias growls.

The Dauntless shrugs. "Necessary precaution. Didn't want you running off on us, and shooting her was the best way to keep both of you where we want."

How could he know that Tobias would just run off?

He sees the confused look on my face and smirks. "There are cameras all over the city, little girl. We knew he would stay." He laughs, a scratchy, cold, humorless chuckle. "Now, get up, girly." He motions with the gun.

The other soldier comes up to me as I lie there, flopping like a fish in an attempt to stand. He kicks me in the ribs, and all my air is jolted out of me.

"Come on, Stiff." He orders.

I regain my grip on my knife as he grasps my arm to pull me up. I whip it out and stab at his arm, causing him to drop me and screech.

"Oh shut up. You'll live." The pierced one says. "Now get up, you little Stiff."

I have given away my knife. No more weapons. I have no choice but to see where they take me.

I brace my arms on the pavement, and manage to crouch on my good leg, gritting my teeth through the pain. Tobias moves to help me, but the soldier whacks the side of the gun to his skull.

"No. She walks by herself."

I clench my jaw and gingerly set my injured leg on the ground. The wound in my lower thigh burns with pain, and I can't help but whimper a little. When I stand up fully, leaning on the wall for support, fire burns up my leg and I feel a single tear slip from my eye.

"There. She can walk." The pierced soldier smiles, seemingly enjoying my pain.

The other Dauntless, older, about forty, forces Tobias' arms behind his back and presses a gun to his back. The pierced one turns to me and grabs my arm, fingers bruising my shoulder.

He smiles, the holes in his face widening. "I'm sure you can walk, can't you, little girl? I mean, you are Divergent. Aren't they supposed to be all powerful?" He laughs at my shocked face, and pulls at my arm, causing me to stumble. "Walk."

Each step is complete agony. Soon my leg is numb with pain, but I am still crying out every other step.

The soldier soon gets tired of me and my slow pace, and he yanks on my arm. I trip and sprawl on the ground, feeling blood squelch in my shoes. The world spins and my head throbs in protest.

"You. Carry her." He says to Tobias and I breathe a sigh of relief. I don't think I could have walked another step anyway.

I feel a warm pair of arms slide beneath me, careful not to touch my wound, though I still moan a little as my leg scrapes on the ground. He cradles me to his chest, and I bury my aching head into his shirt, trying to stop the world from tipping.

I look up at Tobias' face, and see his eyes set and determined, staring at the pierced soldier's back.

We continue walking, for what feels like hours but was probably only twenty minutes. I go to sleep, I think, but it is hard to tell what is real and what is a dream when your head is dizzy and aching, your thoughts are all jumbled together, and your leg is crying out for mercy.

Finally, I am set down against a wall. Tobias crouches beside me, a hand pressed against my wound. "Hold on," he whispers. "Just hold on."

I hear a door open and a cold, emotionless voice. I recognize it, it sounds like the one in the aptitude test, in my simulation. The one that ordered me to murder my family.

A face swims out of the blur, matching to the voice. It is Jeanine Matthews.

* * *

A/N :D

Remember the question of the week: have Tris and Tobias been OOC at all?

Thank you for reviewing!

-RA102


	19. Let Go

A/N hey hey hey!

i am so sorry! I posted the wrong chapter lol.

Soz, this is late. Life happened. Hope you enjoy it, and please review! I love reviews! Reviews are cool! Almost as cool as bow ties!

Jeanine Matthews makes a motion with her arm and several soldiers pull Tobias away from me, restraining him though he struggles. Even he is no match for four fully trained Dauntless soldiers. I, however, am left slumping in the corner. I am not a threat.

"Beatrice Prior." Jeanine says. "I must say, you are a very interesting girl."

I don't answer.

"You chose to stay in Abnegation for the sale of your family, and yet you could never fit in. And then, those simulations. Is it simply great selflessness that allowed you to complete them so quickly, or something else? I wonder if you can tell me."

I feel my mouth go dry. She knows. She knows I am Divergent.

"Get on with it." Tobias growls, and Jeanine gives him a cold smile.

"Then, you rebelled against your faction to learn how to fight, like the Dauntless." How can she know that? "And finally, when your own faction was attacked, you managed to fend off countless soldiers to save it. Even though you did not succeed, it takes great selflessness, and bravery to face a greater force, and only to save a few family members." She pauses. "Divergence is the only answer."

My heart sinks. She knows. But what will she do to me, now?

I want to give some sharp retort, but only manage to croak, "How... How do you know all this?"

"You didn't really think that we wouldn't keep an eye on the Abnegation sector before attacking, do you? Cameras have been observing your activities for weeks."

"Now, Tobias. Can you tell me what Divergence is?"

"This isn't a classroom." He mutters.

"Answer the question."

Tobias closes his eyes for a second. "People who are Divergent usually receive an inconclusive result on the aptitude test. They have an aptitude for multiple factions, instead of just one. They perform well in simulation tests, because they can manipulate them with their minds, and may be resistant to some overall." He sounds like he is reciting something he learnt, and Jeanine nods.

"Very good. Now, both of you are Divergent. But, I suspect Tris' is stronger, one of the strongest I've seen. Therefore, she is a grave threat to our society. Her execution is scheduled for five hours' time."

I feel my breathing slow, the adrenaline rushing through me falter. The pain in my thigh intensifies until it is all I can concentrate on. Execution. And she is talking about me in such a detached way, not talking to me but apart from me, so I feel just as detached from the meaning of the phrase. They are just words. Only words. A bunch of letters jumbled together.

"Tobias, as a weaker Divergent you shall become a test subject to develop a simulation that suppresses Divergence. Your testing will also begin in five hours. Just after Beatrice is taken care of."

There is a short silence. And then Tobias explodes over the desk and presses his hand to Jeanine's throat, punching her face and neck and she brings her arms up to protect herself. He squeezes her windpipe and she emits a funny gurgle, before the soldier recover and pull him off her, still struggling.

Jeanine holds a hanky to her bleeding nose, and I am happy to see a purple mark around her throat.

More guards grab hold of Tobias, and eventually he stops struggling.

"Dismissed." Jeanine says groggily.

Another guard yanks me up from the ground, pushing me to the door. I stumble in spite of searing pain, keeping my eyes on Tobias' back. It is tense, the muscles stand out against his shirt as he focuses his sight steadily on the space in front of him.

There are five guards restraining him now, though he does not struggle. The soldier clutching my arms pulls me along quickly, and I feel my injured leg scream out in agony, though the pain doesn't register in my mind.

Execution.

The corridors all look the same, shining metal floors, bright white walls, not a window in sight. It is hard to distinguish one minute from another.

We soon reach a metal door, reflecting our battered forms in chrome. A soldier unlocks it and pushes me through just after Tobias.

I hear it click shut behind us, and then silence.

Sweet merciful silence.

•••

We sit in opposite corners, me slumping against the wall and trying to forget the pain, and Tobias crouching and glaring at the floor.

"I won't let them." He says quietly. "I won't let them."

"You can't just... Stop them. They have all the power. An army of ruthless soldiers, a leader that feels no emotions."

"I have something. They want me to be their test subject. I'll refuse unless they let you live."

I study the little indents in the steel floor. "You know that won't work. They are Erudite. They will stop at nothing to be rid of those who stand in their way between a problem and a solution."

Tobias slams his hand against the floor. The sound echoes through the room eerily. "I don't care! They can't do this! I won't cooperate! I'll get you out!"

A rock forms in my stomach. I don't want to die, I know that. But it is inevitable, here. Maybe, I can use my death to help him. Somehow. "Tobias. When they... Come for me, I'll pretend to be asleep. Then I'll attack them. That's when you go at them from behind, take their guns and run."

"Tris." His voice wavers, rising in volume. "I am not going to let you die. Get that into your head."

"It's our only chance, for at least one of us to be free."

"Why must you be selfless only when you are in danger, Tris? One minute you're reluctant to sponge bath a senior, and the next you're giving your life just so someone else can live a little longer!" He is yelling now. "Be selfish! Stop looking for danger! You don't have to die just so I can live!"

I hug my good knee, still staring at the floor. "Yes." I say. "I do."

And suddenly his arms are around me, too tight but I don't care. I feel tears slip down my face and onto his shirt, but we both pretend that they don't exist.

"I'll get you out of here. No matter what." Tobias breathes, and we both pretend that could happen.

I curl my fingers in his shirt and pull my mouth to his, and I see light again, something to hope for when there is no hope left. His hands rest on my waist, and the skin there tingles, though his hands aren't particularly soft or warm.

I kiss him for I don't know how long, not do I care. I just know that today is the last day of my life. And it does not matter, because somehow, I will save Tobias.

•••

I blink into the dim light, as I have been for the past few hours, staring into nothing. Tobias' steady breaths tell me that he is asleep, but his arms are still tight around me.

He looks so much younger when he is asleep, his hair tousled over his forehead which is missing its familiar crease. I see a glimpse of a different side of him, one that very rarely is shown. A vulnerable side, a peaceful side. But a side of him that is still inherently Tobias.

I shift a little and his arms tighten, a little too tight but I don't mind. We are presses so closely together that I dot think that I can ever let go.

The door opens.

And I let go.

A/N eek. A cliffhanger. Sorryyyyyy. Had to happen. Please review, please? I'll give you a virtual muffin! Virtual muffins are cool!

:) 8

-ra102


	20. Into nightmares

A/N

HEYO.

I know. I know.

I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry.

Life is just so hectic right now. Like you can't even imagine.

And I also got kinda thrust head first into the doctor who fandom. Heheh. No regrets.

And that finale? ASDFGHJKL. Just. Moffat you clever little rascal.

About that new school story...

It's crap.

Not exactly willing to share. Or redo it. Unsavable. So yeah. Soz guys.

Anyway. On to the chapter. Thank you to all my reviewers!

I am yanked roughly off the floor, hearing Tobias ruffle awake. Several arms support me as they lead me towards the door. About seven other men surround Tobias where he leans against the wall, blinking away the haziness of sleep.

I look back at him. If he ran now, he would have a chance at freedom. He could be free, even if I can't be.

I mouth a single word. Run.

As I am pulled back out the door, Tobias looks at me cross legged on the cold ground. He doesn't say a word, though I know he understood me. He simply stares, blankly, as the door closes in on him with a bang that echoes through the hall, echoes through my bones.

My thigh aches painfully, but has taken a backseat to the worrying of my brain.

Tobias refused my offer to help him escape. He is trapped now. Subject to the proddings of the Erudite.

And me? Me, they are going to kill.

They will force my departure from this world, having lived only a few short years.

I can't help the tears that begin to roll down my cheeks, but I do all I can to suppress the animalistic wail that pushes at my chest. So I cry in silence, as the soldiers pull me along each identical corridor.

When we stop before a door, I use the backs of my hands to wipe my cheeks and try to remove all trace of my crying. If I am to...die...I will not die crying.

It is I who pushes open the door.

Three figures are the most prominent, one standing, the others sitting. The latter are bound to chairs and gagged.

Jeanine turns her head to smile at me and the other figures become clear. My lungs freeze, I can't think, I can't move. Not them. Anyone but them.

"I am sure you are familiar with our guests, Beatrice." Jeanine says.

They are both staring at me, a softness in their eyes.

My parents.

"Why are they here." I say in a flat tone.

"I require them for a final test for you. It should be very interesting."

"Just kill me and get it over with. I'm not going to be your guinea pig."

"You will certainly die today. But you of all people must be familiar with Erudite's yearning for knowledge. Now, guards, return to your duties. This may take a while."

The door closes with a soft click, now in the room there is only my parents, Jeanine and me.

"We are curious to know, if you were placed in a situation mirroring one that you faced in a simulation, how you would react. Would you react similarly, or would it be completely different, since you are aware that it is real life? I am going to test this, and this is how you will die."

I cannot help but let a slight shudder ripple through me. "No. Just kill me. You won't put then in any danger."

Jeanine raises her eyebrows. "I don't believe you are in a position to bargain. You are being thrust through Death's door, for the sake of our society, might I add, and you are very much alone in your attempt to combat the Erudite's new government. Now, we shall begin."

I glare at her, injecting all of my rage, pain and, somehow, loss, into the almost tangible line of fire that links me to Jeanine. She turns and picks some objects up from a table. Two gleaming grey pistols.

"They are both loaded with just one bullet. And I can assure you that if you try anything funny, my guards will stop both your and your parents' hearts quicker than you can blink. Keep that in mind."

My heart, about to stop forever if Jeanine is not bluffing, pounds a hundred beats a second. Jeanine grasps my wrists suddenly, twisting them as she presses one of the pistols into my hands and closes my fingers around the grip. I cannot bring my self to drop the gun.

"We shall begin."

The fluorescent lights above flicker and change, turning eerie blue. Two of the guards ungag my parents, and they cough and splutter.

The silence is the thing that really clenches my heart, the absolute nothingness that hovers in the air. Not a word.

Finally, I bring my self to look up. My parents are both looking at me, with an expression of love and pain and grief in their eyes all at once.

"Mum," I whisper. "Dad."

My mother manages a smile, a tiny little crinkle at the edge of her lips. My father's expression morphs into pity and regret. He looks away.

"I'm sorry, Beatrice. So sorry."

"We both are." My mother adds.

"But it was my fault, I was-" his voice cracks in a moment of emotion that he never displays.

"We take the blame for this, Beatrice. Just know, just know that we love you. If you... Shoot us, you can live. Your life is worth more than ours."

"Do it, Beatrice. Please. For us. Save yourself."

"No." I reply, the whisper barely there.

Jeanine's cold tone interrupts. "You have ten seconds." She presses the barrel of her gun against my forehead.

"Nine."

A thick wad of fear rises in my chest and I feel my breathing quicken to a rapid rate. My heart beats faster and faster, sweat moistens my palms. They have to know that I can't kill me. They must know.

"Eight."

"We know, Beatrice. You think you can't do it. But it is our choice, they will kill us anyway. You have a chance. Take it." My mother says.

"Seven."

No. No. No no no no no. Never. Not ever.

"Six."

My father raises his head, his eyes pooling with unshed tears reflected in the blue light. "It's okay. Beatrice. My daughter. It's okay."

"Five."

They can't be saying this. How can they be saying this? How am I here? How is this real? How did my life suddenly transform into my nightmares?

"Four."

I know the decision I made in the simulation, but can I make it here? But then again, I cannot kill my parents. I can't.

"Three."

I slowly raise the gun. It does not reflect the light, as if it is too dark, too evil a thing to be looked upon as such. The barrel of Jeanine's gun presses into my skull, cold and unmerciful.

"Two."

My mind dissolves into a mess of my memories and thoughts. Nothing and everything. My life rests on this decision, my parents' lives. No matter what happens here, my existence will always teeter on this exact point.

"One."

I close my eyes. I am Beatrice Prior. And this. This. This is the moment. This is the moment my life ends.

A crash resounds around the room, smoke twirls into my lungs, and I hear two ear splitting cracks.

Gunshots.

A/N

Okay. I am so sorry. I know, I know this story has too many cliffhangers. Sorry. So sorry.

Anyway, please forgive me (pleeease?) for leaving you guys for so long! So sorry again.

So long, farewell, until we meet again! (Soon!)

-ra102

P.S.

Bow ties are cool.


	21. Running

20 A/N

Hello! I did promise it would be up soon, didn't I? :)

One of you said that I had quite a few typos in this story. I know that's true, I've been writing this on my phone! When I have access to a computer I promise I will fix them up, but it is quite hard on a portable device. From now on I'll be more careful when I'm checking over. :)

Hope you enjoy this new chapter. Please review, this story won't be going on for much longer sadly! I have to end it somewhere! So, reviews please?

Love ya! :)

A hand yanks me roughly up from where I am standing mutely, paralysed with shock. Just a second ago, I was accepting my own death. And now I am alive, but swaying in a cloud of smoke and sound.

I follow along with the persistent arm, stumbling a few steps though I cannot see anything further than a foot in front of my nose.

"You're the Beatrice girl, yeah?" The owner of the hand that pulls me along asks.

I nod, coughing. It's a tall Dauntless boy, and I notice that he holds a gun in his free hand.

"I'm Zeke. Come on. We gotta get you outta here." He continues to pull my arm, before I cry out as the bullet wound in my legs throbs.

He looks back, seeing the wound. Taking off his jacket, he ties it around my leg. "Okay. That's an obstacle. But you can lean on me, alright?"

"...wait." I croak. "My parents."

Zeke stops suddenly, giving me a confused look. "Your parents?"

My heart constricts. His tone warns of nothing good. I am clutching tightly to the hope that my parents are safe. But I need to find them in this chaos. I will.

"I...I don't think..."

I don't let him finish. I tear of out his grip and plunge back into the smoke. Where are they? WHERE ARE THEY?

I almost trip over something on the ground. It's a guard, crimson blood soaking through his jacket.

I put my hand over my mouth, half to block out the smoke and half to stop myself whimpering in horror. If he is dead... If he is dead... Then so could my parents.

I continue stumbling along, ignoring Zeke's yells. I hope he can't locate my by my coughing fits, which catch me very few seconds.

I could have sworn the room was a lot smaller than it seemed, and just as I am about to dismiss the fact that they could still be here, and realise that they probably already escaped, I see them.

Slumped in their chairs, eyes closed. Blood drips from them to plink on the floor.

No. No. No no no no no.

I walk slowly to them, picking my way through the wreckage and rubble. Their faces are slack and peaceful, and they are holding hands.

My hands are shaking as I check their pulse, on the jugular vein just as I was taught in school.

I feel the tear running down my cheek before I fully process what is happening.

Their hearts are as dead and cold as the bullets that stopped them.

I feel my whole body shaking, my knees weak. I back away, almost slipping on the blood.

No. No no no.

Zeke leaps out of the smoke, grabbing ahold of my arm again. "We need to get of here! Run!"

I stumble along floppily to his yanks, I don't think he saw them in the smoke. I don't think he realized. I saw them though. I saw them. And they aren't coming back.

"What are you doing? Come on!" Zeke's panicked tone finally injects some adrenaline into my blood and I start to run. I force my mind to focus in the thudding of the my footsteps, left right left right. Everything else I push away.

My legs screeches out in pain- in all the confusion, and... Well, I forgot about the gunshot wound. I tug on Zeke's arm and he slows down, supporting me so I don't have to put weight on it.

"Where are we going?" I pant.

"The tracks. We'll catch a train to Amity headquarters. It's safe there."

"What were you doing in the Erudite compound? Who are you? How did you find me?"

"I'm a friend of Tobias." Zeke replies. "Taught him all he knows about combat, though I dare say he probably knows it better than I do. Someone saw you both being hauled away by the Erudite. We organized a rescue team, snuck through the compound, found you, and here you are."

I can see the tracks up ahead, and a train off in the distance. "So where's Tobias? And where are the rest of you?" I ask, ignoring the solid lump in my chest that can't seem to go away no matter what I'm thinking about.

"Lynn went to get him. They should be at the tracks or on their way. And there are a few more of us- there's Lauren and Uriah too. Uriah's the one who orchestrated that orchestrated that explosion, got it off some soldier, and Lauren helped get Tobias. They should be at the tracks too."

I nod and focus up ahead, where I can see a few silhouettes. They wave and shout at us, and Zeke quickens his pace. "I suppose you've never jumped on the train before," he says. "You have to run alongside it for a bit, then jump in and grab the handles. Look, it's almost here."

I limp faster, concentrating on the pain to block out all other thoughts. We need to catch up with the others, who are already getting ready to board. I watch them all jump up effortlessly, and then Zeke shouts above the clatter of the train, "When I signal. Ready?"

I nod. Though I most definitely am not.

"Now!" Zeke leaps into the carriage, swinging on the bars to pull himself in.

I take a deep breath, and jump.

My knees scrape on the side of the train, and I only just manage to grasp the handle. I clench all the muscle in my body and fight the wind to pull myself into the train.

Once inside, I collapse on the floor with a groan of agony. My leg ripples with fire and I press a hand against it, trying to slow the blood that is starting to flow again from the wound.

"Tris!" I glance up. Tobias stands above me, an expression of something close to relief on his face.

I try a weak smile as he sits down beside me, putting an arm around my shoulder. He takes off his own jacket and secures it over Zeke's, which is already soaked.

"Are you okay?" He asks softly.

I take a deep breath, feeling it shudder in my chest. "Yeah."

"Don't lie. I know when you're lying."

I close my eyes for a second. "Please. Not now."

He stares at me while I stare at the floor, before he finally nods. "Later."

I know I should really tell him, tell him everything now. But there is something inside me that curls up into a vulnerable ball when I think about the events of the last few hours. I know I should be crying, should be feeling something, but I'm not. I can't.

I feel nothing.

And that is worse than feeling anything at all.

A/N

:(

In sorry it had to happen guys. Dying is a huge part of Divergent's story. And everybody knows that everybody dies. (And nobody knows it like the Doctor... Sorry guys, I warned you about my newfound Doctor Who obsession)

Anyway, that school fic will definitely not be happening anymore I'm afraid. It sucked. I may do something else for Divergent, though. Need to think of some ideas. Because this fic is ending. Soon. Like, next chapter soon. So, please leave a review to tell me what you thought of this story. Those who do, along with my loyal followers and favouriters, will get a special mention for being so awesome and supportive!

I may do some Divergent one-shots, which I already have quite a few of (check out my profile, it's extremely Divergent-y)

So, goodbye. For now. Until the next chapter. :)

-ra102

P.S

Fezzes are cool.


	22. Emptiness and Hope

A/N

Hello, old friend. And here we are. You and me. On the last page.

I'm sorry it's short. But yeah.

Thank you to everyone who has followed, favourited, and reviewed. Without your support this probably wouldn't exist! Please leave some feedback, maybe ideas for one shots if you want me to write some :)

Enjoy the finale!

•••

The sun is setting in the distance, fiery streaks soaking into the clouds, which fade softly into purple. I sit mutely on the floor of the train, gazing out the window, listening to the comforting clatter of the train. Tobias sits beside me, but we do not talk or touch. I can sense that he, too, has something heavy weighing on his shoulders.

The weight of my parents' deaths hangs heavily over me, like an oncoming storm.

"What did she do?" Tobias' voice is toneless and flat.

I let a few minutes crawl past before replying.

"It was like the simulation. The fears. That was how she planned to kill me."

"She had my parents. Gave me a gun. Gave me a choice."

"So what did you do? Or what were you going to do?"

I take a breath that shudders through my lungs. "What do you think?"

"You would have given your life. How could you belong anywhere but Abnegation?"

I don't answer.

"She had all of these simulation serums that she tested on me. It was difficult, extremely difficult, to tell what was real. Everything jumbled together. I think she's found a way to get around Divergence. Nothing can stop her now."

I don't voice my thoughts, that Tobias' Divergence is weaker. She won't be able to control me. "What was in the simulations?"

Tobias stares at his shoes. "You. Always you. Dying, or dead. Sometimes it was my father that killed you. And sometimes my mother died alongside you. But, every time, I was helpless. I couldn't stop it. And I thought it was real."

I don't speak, simply touch my hand to his arm. He flinches, before putting his arms around me and pulling me to his chest, so tight, as if reassuring himself that I am there.

"I'm here," I whisper. "It wasn't real."

He kisses the top of my head. "No. But it could have been."

It could have. And it could also have easily been me in his place. Watching him die. Just as... Just as my parents did.

"Is it bad?"

"Is what bad?"

"That I don't feel anything? I'm just empty. My parents just died, and it was my fault. And I'm empty."

Tobias looks out the door of the train, at the city rushing past. "That's what it's like at first. For me, at least. It's shock, like your mind hasn't realized what's happened. But then it hits you. One moment you're fine, but then something happens. A colour, a phrase, a quirk of some kind. Something that reminds you of them. And then you snap."

His mother. His mother, died when he was young. My heart climbs to my throat.

"I feel cold, though. Unfeeling. And it was my doing, all of it. Am I- am I evil, Tobias?"

Tobias whips around so quickly that I jolt, and am taken aback by the ferocity in his eyes. "Don't. You. Ever. Say that. This is a war. They died for you, yes, but it was their choice. Jeanine killed them. Not you. Never you. You are not evil. You are the bravest, most selfless person I know. Don't ever think otherwise."

I look at him, and a part of me feels hope. In some secluded corner of my being, a light is shining. Maybe he is right. Maybe, this war can be won without corrupting ourselves. Maybe I can make it through this without losing myself.

I look out at the city skyline, the sun setting as drops of rain begin to fall from the clouds. The sunlight splinters through each drop, sparkling in a dazzling array of colours. The city itself is crumbling, fires burning through the windows, and smoke rises to the sky. A city at war.

One that I hope we can win, without losing ourselves.

•••

A/N

So there you go. Thank you everyone for reading my story, I hope you liked it! Reviewers, favouriters and followers, big big big thank you!

Please drop me a line, I love hearing from you. Ideas for one shots. What you thought. Chit chat about Diverent. Your favourite flavour of ice cream. Whatever. :)

So this is the story of Tobias and Tris in Abnegation. And this is how it ends.


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